The Universe According To Anastasia

Give It Up For My Birthday

2012-01-31T21:09:00.004-05:00

Today is my birthday. I've known for about a month and a half that Brian was going to have to work tonight.

Say what?

Apparently the head honcho dudes at Brian's company picked January 31st to fly to Boston and attend a Bruins game.

Boo. Hiss.

Being the awesome wife I am, I told him that I was fine with him having to shmooze and kiss some corporate booty on my birthday. Deep down I felt kind of crappy about him working tonight, but come on! Am I going to force my husband to skip out on an evening that may potentially help his career and pad our bank account somewhere down the road?

I think not.

So I put on my big girl panties and told my husband it was fine.

I smiled, gave him a big hug and a smooch, and told him he would just have to make it up to me.

And boy did he ever.

He reserved a room at the Back Bay Hotel in downtown Boston on Saturday night. He recruited my little sis and her boyfriend to spend that night at our house to care for Simon and the kitties. I was also treated to a very romantic, very delicious dinner at The Capital Grille Restaurant that included a piece of cake larger than most countries.

Please excuse the iPhone picture quality - not sure what the glowing halo is around my head, but it's in about 5 other pictures we took that night. Maybe it's just that....my halo :)

My weekend was amazing. For the first time in a long time, I actually got to sleep in. No kitties walking across my head looking for breakfast at the crack of dawn. No Simon waking me up with his tug toy in my face. No barking, or meowing, or crying, or whining. Just me, Brian, and some Sunday morning snuggling.

What makes me a little sad (just a little) is that I'm home by myself tonight on my birthday. I've decided that next year I'm going to take the day off from work, get a massage, do some shopping, and celebrate me alllllllll day.

In the meantime, I was hoping you'd all leave me some birthday love in my comments section. You know, just to make me feel a little less alone tonight.

Thanks guys :)

4 Months

2012-01-23T23:32:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow will be 4 months to the day that I became a Mrs.

To relive the magic of that weekend, swing by here and take a peek.

4 months?

Boy does time fly when you're having fun!

Engaged

2012-01-17T21:47:00.002-05:00

I can remember the day like it was yesterday. We were praying that the rain would clear up and the sun would shine. Brian and I had a hard time deciding where we wanted to do our engagement photos. We really didn't have a "place." No beach that we frequented, no woods that we hiked, no urban landscape where we spent our time. We could have picked a number of beautiful locations, but it just didn't feel like us. We were afraid we would feel like transplants - two people in a picturesque backdrop that had no ties to that particular place.

It just would have been weird to us.

I struggled with all of the possibilities but then came to a conclusion while looking out my back door. It was autumn, and the little dead end street that we live on has leaves that blaze red, orange, and yellow when the season shifts from summer to fall.

"We can do it here," I thought. No beach, no mountainside, no tall city buildings. Just the street where we decided to make the commitment to spend forever together. The street where we started the family that is us, the dog, and the two cats. It's the street where we became homeowners, where we became neighbors, where we became part of a community.

Once I decided on the first location, my brain immediately went to the park down the street from my old apartment. Technically, this is where our relationship status first began. It's the park we drove by, and walked by, when we would leave our favorite hangouts to go back towards my place. What better way than to have pictures where it all began.....

So there you have it. The two locales where we chose to have our engagement photos and how we chose them. A little odd to most, but just right for us.

To check out our photos, head here, to Melissa Mullen Photography. She did an incredible job capturing me, Brian, and most importantly Simon. I can't thank her enough!

Enjoy!

Coffee!

2012-01-09T21:53:00.003-05:00

I have developed a small obsession with my morning cup of coffee.

I am head over heals IN LOVE with my morning cup of coffee.

It's a little strange.

I own a bright red 12 cup coffee pot that I purchased at Target about a year ago for cheap money. I only make one cup each morning, because more than one cup would make me a jittery crazy lady. Brian begged for a Keurig when we were registering and I adamantly refused. I just couldn't stand parting with my red coffee pot.

I love my red coffee pot.

I recently figured out how to program my coffee pot to brew coffee prior to my alarm going off so I actually wake up to the yummy smell of fresh brewed coffee.

For those of you that haven't figured out this feature on your coffee making machine, I highly recommend you do so.

It's so awesome.

So back to the coffee....

Now that I've figured out this feature, I am completely obsessed with my morning cup of coffee. Prior to learning about this feature, mornings were dismal. My alarm would go off, I would shuffle to the kitchen accidentally kicking one of the animals along the way. I would fumble with the filters. I would fill the filters with coffee. I would add the water. And then would wait - groggy and annoyed that it was morning time.

Waiting. For the coffee. Wait, wait, wait.

Now that I've discovered how to operate the timer, mornings are like Christmas. My alarm goes off and the fragrant scent of French Vanilla wafts through the air. I shuffle to the kitchen like a crack head off to get a fix. No fumbling with filters and no measuring water or coffee. Just yummy hot coffee waiting to be poured into my oversized coffee mug (which SURPRISE has cats on it).

I've started to get really excited each night at the very thought of waking up to a full, hot, READY, pot of coffee.

So excited, I've been saying things like, "Mmmmm, can't wait to get up tomorrow morning and drink my coffee."

Brian is not enthused.

Brian thinks I'm crazy.

Brian still wants a Keurig.

2012

2012-01-04T22:11:00.003-05:00

Holy crap it's here.

A new year. A new beginning. I'm super excited!

I was hoping to blog prior to the New Year to discuss resolutions (because I heart resolutions) but I just didn't get around to it.

Instead of me dumping my list of "everything I plan on accomplishing this year because I love making lists and checking things off," I'd like to know what your resolutions are.

I, of course, will dish what my list for 2012 is (and of course there are quite a few items) but I would like to hear some of yours first.

I have a girl date (one of my resolutions that I will share at a later date) on Friday night that I'm super excited about because if I'm not mistaken I haven't had a girl date since the summer. Although I love my husband dearly, I'm very excited to go be going out to dinner with a girlfriend.

So happy Wednesday to everyone, and an even happier tomorrow.

It's 2012 b*tches!

Did I mention I'm excited?!?!?!

Note To Self

2011-12-18T18:30:00.002-05:00

** Consuming a beverage that has been coined "Christmas Punch," is probably a bad idea.

** Consuming so called punch after Brian's friend doctored it is probably a bad idea.

** Consuming "Christmas Punch" that is now doctored and renamed "Blackout Punch," is probably a bad idea.

** Consuming "Blackout Punch," that now tastes more like a Jolly Rancher than alcohol is probably a bad idea.

** If Brian's friends that drink regularly are consuming the "Blackout Punch," and are quickly getting drunk, you drinking the punch is probably a bad idea.

** Attempting to put up Christmas decorations the morning after consuming "Blackout Punch," is probably a bad idea.

.....it's been a long day.....

My Occupation

2011-12-15T21:55:00.002-05:00

I'm a saleswoman.

I drive around all the live long day.

This video pretty much sums up what goes through my mind while I'm driving from appointment to appointment.

And yes, I'm always late....

2

2011-12-07T19:57:00.011-05:00

He grew up so fast

My cute little, furry, baby adorable-ness

Is now a big bad dude

From being able to hold him in our arms

To not being able to put our arms around him

Happy 2nd birthday to my little big dude.

What Smells?

2011-11-22T22:15:00.003-05:00

I watch movies like this and I want to adopt another animal.

But then I'm forced to remind myself that this week Mia urinated on a shirt I left on the floor. What's worse is that I then proceeded to wear the shirt and walk around for half the morning wondering who and what smelled so bad.

After about three hours wearing the shirt, I finally figured out it was my own sleeve. It was me that smelled so bad.

Yeah, my hands are already full.

I need to stop leaving my clothes on the floor.

I need to stop wearing clothes off the floor.

No more pets.

For now.

'Tis The Season To Fast Forward

2011-11-11T16:33:00.000-05:00

I came to a very sad yet honest conclusion this week.

I'm really not a fan of the "holiday" season.

Yeah, yeah, I know. What kind of horrible monster am I?

My only comfort is that my little sister feels the same way.

(Does that make her a monster as well?)

An actual conversation that occurred yesterday:

Me: I'm so not looking forward to the holidays.
Kristina: I hate the holidays. They're so annoying.
Me: I agree. I wish we could just fast forward through them.
Kristina: Totally.

Holidays are stressful. SUPER STRESSFUL. There is nothing, and I mean, NOTHING not stressful about the holidays. First and foremost the holidays cost money - lot's of money - to buy gifts. The shopping, the hustle and bustle, the sales, the paying full price, the getting gift receipts. The pressure of it all drains me of any and all enjoyment for this time of year.

The running around, the wrapping, the lugging of the bins that hold all of the Christmas decorations, the cleaning involved to display the Christmas decorations, the putting the Christmas decorations back into the bins and lugging them down into the basement. The shooing of the cats away from the Christmas tree. The traveling, the spending enough time with family members so they aren't disappointed yet somehow it's never enough and they are disappointed ANYWAY despite your best efforts.

The food, the food, the food. Ugh.

I'm so over the holidays.

I've decided that I'm going to have an un-holiday holiday season. I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to go about this un-holidayness, but I'm sure I will figure out something creative. I have to imagine that I'm not the only person out there (anyone? anyone?) that isn't all super sugary excited about weeks to come.

So come on, admit it. Who else isn't jazzed about the holidays?????

Mawwiage

2011-11-02T21:23:00.006-04:00

Hi Folks!

Long time no blog!

I apologize for the mini-blogging hiatus but I needed to take some time off.

I desperately needed time to decompress, to unwind, and most importantly to de-stress. Unfortunately, I have only been able to accomplish the first two. Work demands have me more stressed than ever - but it's a good stress. Idle hands are the devil's playground, and my hands are far from idle.

I wish I could report exciting news from the marriage front. I wish I could report that being Newlyweds has somehow changed how we interact with each other. I wish I could report that somehow it's made the two of us fall more in love. I wish I could report that there has been an increase in the romance around here and that we gaze lovingly into each others eyes prior to falling asleep. I wish I could report that we cuddle more or hug more or hold one another in a loving embrace more but alas, that is not the case. Life around here has returned to normal.

In addition to life returning to the status quo, I've been battling some sort of flu/cold for the last two weeks that Brian has managed to catch within the last few days. Let me tell you, nothing says hot sizzling romance like one person coughing uncontrollably and the other blowing ones nose into the 34rd Kleenex of the day. Our conversations revolve around who feels more sick then whom and which one of us has dog duty.

"I'm sick. You take out the dog."
"No. I AM sick. YOU take out the dog."

Poor dog just wants to relieve himself, not listen to his parents fight over who feels more like hell.

I'm actually glad that things haven't changed around here after the wedding. I like how things were. Living together for as long as we have has allowed us to work out the kinks. We've managed to find a good balance that works with our hectic lifestyles. The wedding just made it official. We both knew we were in it for the long haul - that despite work, dogs needing to be walked, illness and whatever else came roaring at us, we would be just fine.

Speaking of the dog....

I know there will be days when I love him more than my husband.

Sorry husband!

As I write this, husband is in bed to my left snoring and the dog is at the foot of the bed (on the floor of course) snoring as well. In about an hour, I'll have a cat snuggled in my ear and sharing my pillow.

All of that is marriage to me. And I love it.
The dog especially......sorry, he's super cute when he snores. The dog. Not the husband.

The Tease Continues....

2011-10-02T15:27:00.004-04:00

The first thing Brian and I did after we booked the Mountain View Grand Resort & Spa for our wedding reception was to book Meg Simone as our videographer. I had no intentions of booking a videographer and found her during a search that was intended to find a photographer. I googled "mountain view grand wedding photos," and was pleasantly surprised when my search led to her website. After viewing only 2 of her AMAZING movies I was hooked and absolutely HAD to have her.

After viewing our 1 minute wedding preview, I realized that booking Meg was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my entire life.

Take a peek and you'll agree....

View on ExposureRoom

Thank you Meg for being so AWESOME to work with and sharing your gift with the world.

Oh and PS -If you're wondering what was in the book that Brian opened as his grooms gift or what was the deal with the red robes, drop me an email and I'll fill you in.

Just A Tease

2011-09-26T14:16:00.003-04:00

Beautiful weather, beautiful venue, beautiful people, and more love, joy, happiness, laughter and tears than we've ever experienced in our entire lives.

Thank you to everyone who traveled to be with us. Thank you for all of the love, support, hugs, and smiles throughout the entire weekend!
More pictures to come :)

Hoop - La

2011-09-08T22:15:00.003-04:00

Hi there!

I have a confession to make.

I'm kind of ready for all this wedding hoop-la to be done.

WAIT - I'm still super excited and can't wait for the day when all of my most favorite people on the planet will be in one place celebrating me and showering me with all their love and well wishes......er, I mean US, showering US.......but I'm sooooooooooooo ready to go back to life as usual.

Brian feels the same way. Can we just be married already?? Geesh!

As I've mentioned in prior posts, Brian and I have really dialed back our spending over the last year and we are so ready to get back out there and start doing stuff again. We've been planning and planning and PLANNING for this one big day, and it just needs to get here already so we can dance, eat, love and soak it all in.

I'm ready to soak it all in.

I'm ready to soak it all in with you.

I'm ready.

I Heart Hurricanes

2011-08-28T19:23:00.002-04:00

Although Hurricane Irene proved to be a pretty lackluster storm in my neck of the woods, the threat of Hurricane Irene proved to be extremely satisfying.

Allow me to explain. The threat of Hurricane Irene led to the Governor declaring a state of emergency for Massachusetts thus resulting in the gym deciding to close today.

That means I can't feel guilty about NOT working out 20 something days out from my wedding because technically I couldn't. No gym. No workout.

In addition, due to the threat of Irene and the urging of officials to stay inside, I really had no choice but to listen. I had no choice but to fold laundry, watch Legends of the Fall (old school Brad Pitt makes me drool profusely), clean bathrooms, get wedding stuff situated and cuddle with the kitties.

Which in my world is an IDEAL way to spend a rainy, windy, yucky Sunday.

My plan to "heed serious hurricane warnings" was almost foiled when at 11:00 am the electricity went out for all of 45 seconds.

ME: "Is the power out?"
Brian: "Yup. This is going to suck."
ME: "How are we going to watch movies all day?"
Brian: "I guess we'll just have to have sex all day."
ME: "No, seriously, what are we going to do about the movies???"

The power returned and it's been Brad Pitt, Bridezillas, Sex & The City, Jersey Shore and numerous other entertaining shows that I love, but that made Brian want to claw his eyes out with the remote.

How did you spend Hurricane Irene?

One Month

2011-08-24T21:47:00.003-04:00

On Monday September 25th 2006, Brian and I went on our very first "date." Technically, it wasn't a date to either of us. Technically, it was two friends reconnecting and having dinner and drinks. I remember how cool and collective I was that night. I felt no pressure. I felt at ease. I didn't contemplate the "what ifs" because no "what ifs" existed. It was just a casual night out with a friend.

Neither one of us would have ever imagined that a Monday night get together would result in a marriage.

This is the very first photo we took together as a couple. We were at a cookout sometime in October. I don't remember who took the photo, but I remember being told to "smile." I leaned back and Brian wrapped his arms around my waist, and I remember thinking, "what do I do with my hands???"

If you had told us then that someday we would be getting married, we would have laughed in your face.

It's weird how things happen.

It's weird how the Universe unfolds it's plan to us.

Brian and I weren't supposed to last. We weren't supposed to get married. We were supposed to go out for drinks. We were supposed to casually date each other. We weren't supposed to get serious. We were supposed to be casual. We were supposed to be fun. We were supposed to fill the void until we met that special person to permanently fill the void.

Neither one of us saw this coming.

How does that saying go: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans"

We were busy making other plans, and didn't even notice life unfolding in front of us.

In one month from today, our lives will be officially joined.

I can't believe it's almost here!

Jersey. Sure.

2011-08-11T22:24:00.002-04:00

I consider myself a highly intelligent woman.

A highly intelligent woman that thoroughly enjoys watching The Jersey Shore.

Actually, I don't just thoroughly enjoy watching The Jersey Shore, I f*cking love it.

If I weren't marrying the love of my life Brian, I would be hunting down Pauly D, and forcing him to have babies with me.

As much as I want to find his blowout repulsive, his tattoos tacky, and his faux bronzed skin jaundice in nature, I think he is INCREDIBLY sexy. I'm thinking it's the chiseled abs and his taunt little Italian tush.

Relax, Brian knows about my celebrity crush on Pauly D.

If given the opportunity to jump in a time machine, rewind 10 years of my life, and appear on the Jersey Shore, I totally would.

As stupid as the show is, you have to admit, those kids have a rip roaring good time.

And life in suburbia isn't so rip roaring.

Off to watch Vinny and Ronnie soak in the hot tub together.

So entertaining!

Checking In

2011-08-09T22:35:00.009-04:00

It's August everyone.

It's officially the last month of the summer.

The back to school ads are everywhere.

Retail stores are slashing prices to make room for new fall apparel.

I'm getting married in 6 weeks.

Holy Bananas!

Things have been a little nuts in my world. I've been trying to juggle work, wedding planning, and everything else while trying to maintain my sanity.

Wait - have I ever been sane?

Rephrase - trying to maintain the appearance of sanity :)

Long list of things to do this week, and I'm hoping to check each action item off by Friday.

Blogging has been sparse and I apologize.

As part of my apology, I leave you this ridiculously adorable video featuring two of my favorite things: a dog and a cat.

Weekend Getaway

2011-08-01T23:34:00.002-04:00

With the wedding only 7 weeks away, our spending has come to a screeching halt. We have been living a conservative lifestyle since we started planning the wedding, but are now officially on financial lock down. This summer, although extremely busy, has been rather uneventful. We don't have money at the moment to take any trips, and we don't really go anywhere since gas prices are so high. We have been making the best out of the situation by cooking romantic dinners at home, going for sunset walks with Simon, and enjoying our neighbor's cozy backyard while drinking homemade wine. We've promised ourselves that once the wedding is over we can once again allow ourselves a little financial freedom.

In the meantime, I've been scouring the internet to virtually shop and have been planning imaginary trips by reading reviews on www.tripadvisor.com

This particular getup is for our imaginary weekend getaway to Newport, RI. I think I'd look super cute touring the mansions in this little ensemble:

Weekend Getaway by Anastasia00 featuring ballerina shoes

Opening Ceremony short shirt dress
$225 - lagarconne.com

CAMPER ballerina shoes
140 CAD - gravitypope.com

Chloé square handbag
£595 - harveynichols.com

ASOS pin watch
$52 - asos.com

Lucky brand jewelry
$35 - zappos.com

Dita glass shades
$375 - aloharag.com

So apparently playing "make-believe" stretches into adulthood.

Happy Monday :)

Regrets

2011-07-25T21:23:00.006-04:00

Ten days ago, I lost my very dear friend Paul.

Paul was a loving husband and a dedicated Dad. Paul's life revolved around his family.

Paul was a great friend.

It began around the first of the year. It had been a few months since we last spoke. His voicemail mentioned something about medical setbacks and a three week medical stay. When we finally spoke, he informed me that he was fighting to get better after a lung biopsy left his lungs unable to function properly. He was only able to go home for a short period of time but was then forced back into the hospital.

Paul was placed on a transplant list early spring. The doctors diagnosed him with pulmonary fibrosis. The cause of his illness remained unknown. I visited Paul a few times in the hospital. I wish I had visited more. I was convinced he would get better. I was convinced he was coming home. I was convinced he would be fine. I never once thought that maybe Paul was just too sick to get better. I figured he would be out of the hospital in no time and we would spend time together then.

I was very much in denial.

Paul was only 38 years old.

I am angry that God has taken such a wonderful man away from his family. I am sad that his children might never know how much their dad loved them. I ache for his wife that has to live without her beloved and raise their two children without him. I can't even imagine her pain.

I am wishing that I had spent more time with him over the last few months.

You fought long and you fought hard. Your body just couldn't fight anymore. May you finally be at rest and at peace.

You will never be forgotten.

I miss you buddy.

Foul Mood

2011-07-13T07:46:00.002-04:00

I've been completely missing in action lately mainly because I've been a big ball of stressed out highly confrontational energy. Although I'm fighting very hard to stay positive and fight off the negative energy, I'm having a hard time staying chipper. Increased responsibilities at work, wedding planning, and MOUNTING bills have me teetering on the edge of a crying fit/tempter tantrum at any given moment during the day. In addition I'm a total stress eater - so when the going gets tough, I usually get a hot fudge sundae. The chocolate high makes me feel better, but since I'm watching what I eat I can't reach for the fudge resulting in added stress because, gosh darn it, I JUST WANT SOME CHOCOLATE GOODNESS!

I attempt to convince myself that these are "happy times," and for split seconds at a time I actually feel just that - happy and excited that the wedding is 10 weeks away. Then my mind switches to the virtual "to do" list I have streaming in my mind, and my good mood fades to "HOLY CRAP HOW DO I GET IT ALL DONE!?!?!"

I had a "mini" breakdown last night as I perused wedding magazines in search of some last minute ideas. Poor Brian had to console my sobs at 11:30 pm as I whined and sniffled for the most ridiculous reasons....

"What if it isn't perfect!! I still haven't figured out what to do with my hair. Veil, no veil? I don't know what to do! I still have to make my hair and makeup appointment and PROGRAMS! What are we going to do about programs?! I have to call the DJ and we need to plan the ceremony and the rings! We need rings......"

On and on and on I ranted while Brian contemplated whether to hug me or jump out the window and make a run for it. In my defense, I am premenstrual (TMI?) which means I have zero control over my thoughts, emotions, and feelings.

I plan on taking some time over the weekend to get organized. I'm usually pretty good with this kind of stuff but the stress of it all has made me procrastinate. At 10 weeks out - the procrastination has got to stop.

So any advice? Any words of wisdom to make THIS part of the planning process easy and enjoyable and most importantly not stressful.

Anyone, anyone?

Cat Fights, Drugs, and Trash

2011-06-28T22:29:00.003-04:00

I watch really horrible television.

I'm sure you do as well.

I realized that my taste in television had gone down the tubes as I was giddily watching the season finale of Mob Wives. At one point I actually spoke the words, "Oh no she DIDN'T."

Out loud. To the TV. Like they could hear me.

I promised myself that I would dial back the drama filled television shows, however, I enjoyed a really delicious cup of coffee after work today while I was glued to my DVR'd episode of Intervention.

"Holy train wrecks."

Again, out loud. Talking to the television.

Jerseylicious, Bridezillas, Hoarders....all really bad television shows that I can't seem to tear myself away from.

Even as I type right now I am watching Celebrity Rehab and thinking that Michael Lohan is full of crap.

These shows are SO BAD, yet so incredibly addictive.

So admit it - what tacky show are you glued to?

Big Dog

2011-06-21T21:43:00.006-04:00

Loving a big dog and living with a big dog isn't easy.

Being a dog owner and sharing your home with a dog is one thing. Sharing your home with a dog that is the size of a small pony is a completely different story.

I realized this fact one early morning at about 3 am when I ventured out of my warm bed for a middle of the night bathroom run. Simon likes to sleep on the cool tile of our not so spacious bathroom. When Simon is sleeping next to the sink his body spans the space between the sink and the toilet. When Simon is sleeping next to the toilet, his body spans the space between the toilet and the sink. Basically, if Simon is sleeping in the bathroom Simon is sleeping in the ENTIRE bathroom.

So what does one do when they groggily stumble into the bathroom and encounter a very large soundly sleeping Simon? Well, I suppose you could tell him to move. Chances are he won't flinch. I suppose you could ATTEMPT to move him yourself. Yup, good luck with that. Instead of attempting to disturb the boulder that is my sleeping dog, I've learned that I have to just pee around him so to speak.

I must first maneuver my footwork to walk around his sleeping body so that I am able to get my butt to and physically on the toilet seat. Sometimes I'm able to sit facing forward. Sometimes I'm forced to pee sideways. Sometimes I have to pee with one foot on the floor and one foot on the dog. Sometimes the dog wakes up and looks at me as if to say, "can I pee in here too?" Sometimes Simon wakes up, shoots me a dirty "you woke me up" look, and saunters out of the bathroom.

Sometimes I find him sleeping under the shower curtain. This means both feet end up on the dog.

But I love him. All 130lbs of his black toilet blocking body.

Showered - A Month Later.....

2011-06-16T08:27:00.006-04:00

Finally - I have proof that my bridal shower actually took place - a few fuzzy pictures for your viewing delight!

My girls:

My groom:

My Maid of Honor and Junior Bridesmaid:

Happy Thursday :)

Names

2011-06-11T18:00:00.008-04:00

I am having some issues with the whole getting married and changing my last name thing.

It's not that I don't like Brian's last name. It's a perfectly fine last name. Easy to spell. Easy to pronounce. Not too long. Not too short. Most importantly, it doesn't rhyme with our sound like a word that is sexually suggestive or related to undesirable body functions.

Like I said it is a perfectly fine last name.

My issue is that it's his last name. Not mine.

I understand that marriage means we are coming together as one and we are forming a bond and creating a family and we're husband and wife and yadda, yadda, yadda. The name issue doesn't mean that I don't feel like we are less bonded or less of a couple or less in love. Collectively, I don't mind being referred to as the, "Smiths (not Brian's real last name)." I am completely on board with our team name. Our married name.

Brian and Anastasia Smith.
That's fine.

Mrs. Smith.
That's fine as well.

But that fact that Anastasia will be followed by something other than the name I've known my whole life when referring strictly to me - feels, oh I don't know, odd. It almost feels like putting on an outfit that fits just fine, and looks good, but isn't my style and isn't me.

Ok, that's a bad analogy, but I think you get my point.

I don't mind being part of team Smith. But knocking out my last name to replace or hyphenate with another, husband or not, seems somewhat uncomfortable to me.

When I have this conversation with people, they often ask how I would handle the last name of our children if we decide to have them. IF Brian and I decide that we MIGHT think of MAYBE having some little non-fur babies, they would have Brian's last name and again, collectively, we would be the Smiths. This is usually when I get the question which is usually asked in an attitude-y manner:

"So, you're like, going to have a different last name than your children? You're like, ok with that?"

Actually, I'm very ok with that. My parents divorced when I was very young and my mother returned back to her maiden name. It never bothered me that she had a different last name and to be honest I hardly even noticed. Same last name or different last name - I referred to her as Mom. It was never an issue. When people would refer to her as Mrs. "divorced last name," she would smile and reply, "Please, call me Joanne."

I've had other women ask me, "what's the big deal in changing your name?" I suppose they are right. It isn't a big deal. On the flip side, what is the big deal in leaving my name the way it is? Especially considering that I am fine with the our team name, and won't correct people when they refer to me as Mrs. Smith.

It just feels strange to me that one day my last name is my last name and then because I'm now married my last name becomes Brian's last name. Although I agree that Brian and I should have a team name, (the Smiths) I still feel very connected to my individual name. It doesn't make us any less a pair, or any less a strong unit. It's just me being me.

And I'm a pain in the a*s.

As Promised

2011-06-06T22:02:00.002-04:00

Hi. I'm back!

As much as I would love to post pictures from the wonderful evening that was my bridal shower - I can't.

Because I don't have any. Not. A. Single. One.

Pictures from the evening do indeed exist. I've seen a few here and there but unfortunately I'm not thrilled with the way I came out in the photos. In my opinion, I somewhat resemble a bloated rhinoceros.

With lipstick.
And fun shoes.

Because of my striking resemblance to this large horned mammal, I have been reluctant to request copies of pictures from that evening. My sister has one that I vaguely liked. But just one.

One. Single. Picture.

Yup, I'm that vain.

So moving on.

I haven't finished my thank you notes. I'm almost done. I didn't want to rush through them. I prefer to take my time and make each note personal and from the heart. Some notes were more difficult then others.

"Thank you for the..............napkins...."

How does one incorporate thoughtfulness and heartfelt thanks when it comes to napkins?

".....they will adorn our table when we have family and friends over to celebrate life's multiple joyous occasions!"

Yes!

Other notes just flowed and flowed and before I knew it I was running out of space and thanking certain individuals not only for their presence at the shower and their gift, but for the important role they played/play in my life.

Those notes are the funnest.

But alas, the mattress pad notes also need to be written....

"Thank you for the luscious mattress pad........"

Hmmmmm. So many places I could go with this one........

Happy Monday!

Patience

2011-06-01T21:32:00.003-04:00

Hey! Checking in!

Life has been a smidge hectic and stressful and I'm attempting to get caught up.

I've also decided that I'm not allowed to blog (this post doesn't count) until each and every one of my shower thank you notes are written, and gifts (which are AWESOME) are put away.

Soooooooooo, I'm thinking Monday will be the restarting of the blogging.

Like you guys care.

Enjoy the rest of the week and weekend!

Showered

2011-05-19T08:37:00.006-04:00

The Dress:

The Shoes:

The Hair:

And the most important accessory of all:

I'm so excited to be showered :)

Monday Shtuff

2011-05-16T08:46:00.003-04:00

Blogger had a mini-temper tantrum a few days ago and deleted comments that were waiting for moderation. I apologize for those that left me some love only to find that the love was not published.

It was blogger that erased them. Not me.

So it's another week, another day, another Monday. I spent Saturday shopping with little sis trying to find the perfect shower dress which will be arriving in 3 more days - the shower. Not the dress.

I'm still in disbelief that MY wedding shower is this week. Typing the words "my shower," and saying the phrase "my shower" out loud still feels so foreign to me. I can't believe it's almost here.

Craziness.

The rain has decided to stop for a bit so I'm off to take Mr. Simon for a walk. Then it's off to work and then off to teach Spin.

Happy Monday Peeps!! :)

Funny But Not

2011-05-12T08:13:00.000-04:00

I think this video is meant to be funny.
Unfortunately, I've been in this situation and I'm sure many of you with fur babies have as well.

Makes you think.....

Time Flies

2011-05-10T21:22:00.002-04:00

My shower is next week and our wedding is 137 days away. The time is FLYING by and I'm desperately trying to grab at every single minute of every single day in an attempt to enjoy this time in our lives.

With both of our busy schedules that include work, house stuff, birthday parties, graduations, and wedding planning, I feel like we are jamming a whole lot of stuff into little time and instead of living in the moment we are merely checking boxes off of our to-do list.

I really hate that.

I'm applying the brakes right now. To prove that I'm applying the brakes, instead of working on a project for work (sorry work, but I've worked long enough today) I'm blogging. I really should be working on an excel spreadsheet that demonstrates the referral patterns of the physicians in my new territory for 2008, 2009, and 2010, and sending my findings off to Senior Management, but nahhhhhhh. Not going to do it.

Instead, I'm switching gears and moving from my professional persona - ahem - to my super, uber, girly, clapping my hands and jumping up and down alter ego because:

My shower is next week.

I can't believe it's already almost here. As I think back to all the tears, and heartache, and really awful BAD decisions I made when it came to dating, I never DREAMED that I would actually be HERE.

And now I'm here.

I haven't even had the time, or more importantly taken the time to really enjoy it.

Holy crap the countdown is on.

I'm REALLY excited.

I'm such a girl sometimes.....

The D Word

2011-05-07T18:29:00.006-04:00

Brian and are getting married in 138 days and there isn't an ounce of me that is nervous about getting married. I have no second thoughts. I have no reservations. I have no doubts.

Getting married is the easy part. So much love, so much fun, and so much excitement currently fills our lives.

What scares me to death is the possibility of divorce.

Hear me out.

There are couples that enter into a marriage knowing in the back of their minds that the decision they've made to join their lives probably isn't the best idea. These couples inevitably end in divorce. There are also couples that marry that have zero intentions of divorce, and zero doubts about the union they are about to embark on. Then "life" happens and they get divorced.

Couples that are happy get divorced.
Couples that hate each other get divorced.
Couples that are so in love get divorced.

Couples get divorced. Period. Sometimes we don't foresee the cookie crumbling, but it crumbles just the same.

I had a conversation the other day with a colleague regarding her divorce. They are currently working on the custody agreement.

What? An agreement? On custody? Pertaining to children?

How do people do this to one another?

I guess I'm particularly sensitive about the subject because my parents divorced when I was really young. What most people don't realize is that despite the fact that your children are young and you don't think they know what is going on - newsflash - they do know what is going on.

More importantly they are aware as to what is going on but what they are too young to understand are the adult reasons behind the divorce. Children don't understand infidelity. Children don't understand substance abuse. Children don't understand, "we just aren't IN LOVE anymore." The main component of the divorce that children understand is that life as they know it is changing. Their home life is changing. One parent is moving out. There is fighting, and name-calling, and discord and while parents are busy working on "making themselves happy," the kids are wondering, "what the f*ck is going on," because their whole world has just been blown wide open, and they don't quite understand why.

Yup. That's how it feels.

So how does it work?

How is it that vowing, "in good times and in bad" turns into "until bad is too bad, and then I'm done."

How is it that vowing "in sickness and in health," turns into, "unless the type of sickness is too much for me to handle."

How is it that vowing, "until death do us part," turns into "until I stop loving you and fall in love with someone else."

I'm not judging here, but it just seems that in this day and age fighting to maintain the marriage isn't the popular choice and divorcing is the more practical solution to whatever problem is facing the marriage.

It makes me sad.

My Two Cents

2011-05-02T12:28:00.004-04:00

Unless you live under a big 'ole rock, you've probably heard the news that Bin Laden is dead. Stories upon stories of Americans celebrating and taking to the streets in exultation are plastered all over the internet.

I don't consider myself one of those celebrating Americans.

His death doesn't provide any relief for me.

If anything it causes me more anxiety and worry that our country, and the hard working Americans that populate this country, are even more at risk.

That scares the living be-jeebers out of me.

Bin Laden was hardly a stupid man. He was smart and calculating and he surrounded himself with others that believed his ideology and shared his desire to spread their hate and terror.

I wonder who is lined up to take his place.

What if the next in command is even worse than Bin Laden? What if he is smarter? What if he is willing to carry out even deadlier attacks to avenge the death of his fallen leader? Wake up people, there really isn't much to celebrate here.

Yeah, Bin Laden is dead. Fine. While we are waving our flags and chanting "USA, USA," his followers are at this very moment planning their next big hurrah to kill innocent Americans. What next? Will they poison our drinking water? Blow up a packed stadium? Hijack another plane? I fear that this ordeal is far from over and just beginning again.

With all that in mind, I don't feel much like celebrating. I'm petrified.

Don't get me wrong, I am very appreciative to the men and women in our US military that risk their lives to protect America and her citizens. My heart goes out to them and their families. My heart goes out to all the families directly impacted by 9/11. Bin Laden's death doesn't change anything. It doesn't bring those people back. The cycle will continue and that is not comforting.

More importantly, celebration should be limited to events that involve love and goodness. Stuff that makes you feel warm and gushy on the inside - a new baby, a new husband - but not a mass murderer being executed. It just doesn't warrant a celebration. If anything, I feel it warrants prayer. I think we should all be praying. Praying that no more innocent lives will be taken in the name of Allah.

But like I said before, I think this is just the beginning. I think the sh*t is going to hit the fan.

I hope I'm wrong.

That is my two cents.

More Fur? Reconsidered.

2011-04-26T22:40:00.004-04:00

An actual conversation that took place this weekend.

Brian: "Um honey, can you come here?"
Me: "Sure, what's up?"
Brian: "Did you by any chance leave a sopping wet dish towel on the kitchen counter overnight?"
Me: "Ummmmmm. No."
Brian: "I think one of the cats pissed on it."
Me: "Let me see it."

That is when I picked up the dish cloth and gave it a very quick sniffity sniff.

Why - you may ask - would I be smelling the urine soaked dish towel?

Being the mom of a special needs kitty has forced me to learn of all his little quirks as they pertain to the kitty box. I need to be very aware of his actions in order to be on the look out for any issues he might be having. I know his box patterns - he urinates after dinner but poops before it. He holds his breath briefly before he pees, and the smell - WOWZERS - is some of the smelliest most potent kitty pee you could ever smell.

The kitchen dish towel stunk of cat pee but not the horrid smell that Ebenezer leaves behind.

Me: "This was Mia. She must be mad at us."
Brian: "She's such a bitch."

I don't know what is worse - the fact that Mia urinated on my kitchen counter, or the fact that I knew it was her based on the smell.

Brian and I pieced together the sequence of events we figure led up to the counter pissing incident. We are well aware that our animals do strange things in the middle of the night because we find random evidence the next morning. A lone shoe left in the middle of the carpet. A pile of clear vomit with shreds of green plant throughout (Mia likes to nibble the houseplants even though they make her throw up. Every. Single. Time). A cat toy that was once upstairs now downstairs. Items from the kitchen table left in the laundry room. We know they play at night and we've actually been awakened by Simon's barking only to find he has cornered Mia on the kitchen counter with her having nowhere to go but down - straight into Simon's slobbery mouth.

We THINK that he may have cornered her up there again and she either a) pissed herself and the dishtowel because Simon scared her, or b) she was angry that she was trapped on the counter and urinated to let us know just how angry she was. For those of you who don't speak fluent cat like I do - inappropriate urination or defecation is done for 1 of 2 reasons.

1) The cat is sick
2) The cat is trying to tell you something that could range from, "hey my litter box needs to be cleaned," to "I loathe your new boyfriend." Or, "I hate this freaking dog."

So yeah. That's what we think happened.

Desire for another cat - gone.

More Fur?

2011-04-21T09:01:00.004-04:00

I admit it.

I have days when I wish I didn't have my animals.

Like the day when Ebenezer urinated blood all over the house including all over my living room furniture. Or the day when Mia vomited all over my bedroom, including in my bed. Or the time when Simon chewed the living heck out of the foot of our brand new kitchen table. Or the time when he had explosive diarrhea that I had to clean off his fur.

Side note: Cleaning diarrhea off the fur of a 120lb dog is like cleaning diarrhea off a 120lb human, except skin cleans up easier than fur.

Each morning I wake up to Mia sleeping on my head and Ebenezer licking my face. Simon is usually snoring at the foot of the bed.

Despite all the work it takes to maintain 3 animals (one the size of 4 combined animals), all the work it takes to maintain the house, and all the work it takes to maintain myself (we have approximately 10 lint brushes of varying sizes and types scattered throughout the house) I see videos like this one - and I want another animal.

Brian said if I really want to I can get another kitty after the wedding.....

Blocked

2011-04-14T22:21:00.003-04:00

My creative juices are not flowing.

My creative juices are dried up.

I'm thinking the issue has something to do with the fact that I'm attempting to blog something coherent, funny, witty, and entertaining at 10:31 pm at night. Brian is snoring next to me, Simon is snoring on the floor, and I wish I was snoring because I am E-X-HAUSTED!

I could write about how I lost 2.4 lbs this week bringing my total weight loss to 4.4 lbs overall, which in my mind can be rounded up to 5, so GO ME for losing 5 lbs.

Small silent celebration happening in my bed right now. Everyone whisper with me, "wooo-hooo."

I could write about wedding planning - but good GOD - wedding planning is not interesting. Well, I suppose some girls find it interesting, but I'm finding it to be more a chore rather then "YAYYYYYYYYYYY, wedding PLANNING! FUN!"

Not so much.

I could write about the delicious cocktail I prepared for myself prior to hopping into bed, but I don't want you to think I have a drinking problem.

I could blog about work - but ewwwwwwww - I don't even want to go there.

OH! I got it! Let's blog about the weekend and how it's almost here!

What's up for your weekend????

Bring on the Friday!

One Of Those Weeks

2011-04-06T10:40:00.002-04:00

Crazy, crazy, crazy!
Busy, busy, busy!
Stress. Stress. STRESS!

And then I heard this on the radio this morning and it reminded me not to sweat the small stuff.

Take joy in the little things, and say F - U (not out loud of course)to everyone and everything that is bringing you down. I also recommend giving a big middle finger (only in your mind of course)to those stressors whether it's work, people, work and people - shoot up that finger and practice that potty mouth.

And don't forget to breathe. *WINK*

Happy Hump Day!

Monday Monday Random Monday

2011-04-04T21:32:00.006-04:00

* I've never been to Europe. Or Vegas. Or Washington D.C. Or the Grand Canyon.

* I've been to Central America.

* I can't remember which continent Central America belongs to - North or South?

* Sometimes I like to sleep with socks on. Sometimes I hate sleeping with socks on.

* Mia sleeps on my pillow and I sleep on Mia.

* Brian hates it when Mia sleeps on his pillow because she leaves behind a ton of orange kitty hair. I think it's funny when Mia sleeps on Brian's pillow because I swear she does it to piss him off.

* I'm allergic to certain toothpastes. I have to use cheap 99 cent AIM toothpaste because the other brands have too much crap in them and cause my lips to crack and bleed.

* Speaking of allergies, if I drink too much orange juice in one day my body breaks out in hives.

* Speaking of speaking of allergies I'm allergic to every grass, mold, tree, and weed, yet breathe easy around cats, dogs, and other animals.

* Speaking of speaking of speaking of allergies, Lily's give me massive sinus headaches.

* I don't like to give change to people that stand on the side of the road with signs that say, "Family to feed, please help." I'm convinced they are lying and plan on using the money to buy drugs.

* Sometimes I forget to take poop bags with me when I walk Simon. Sometimes Simon poops when I don't have poop bags. Sometimes he poops twice. In two different spots. Sometimes I go back and pick up his mess later in the day. Sometimes I don't.

* I cleaned out half of Brian's t-shirts from him dresser. He hasn't noticed that his drawers are significantly less full.

* In second grade I plagiarized short stories from my Highlights magazines and passed them in as my own work. I won several awards for my stories from my teacher. I was proud that I was smart enough to fool the teacher.

* I cheated on my religion final junior and senior year of high school.

* This is my head piece for the wedding

Don't hate.

Happy Monday!

19 To Go

2011-03-30T08:28:00.002-04:00

Ohhhhhhhh yeah. That's right. You read my title correctly.

The weight is coming off!

*Insert happy wiggle dance here*

It's coming off slowly, but it indeed is coming off.

This week I dropped 1.4lbs. I know this doesn't seem significant - but it is. I exercised, and I ate right - but what is important is that I also didn't deprive myself. I got to have wine, and beer, and spaghetti with a delicious tomato sauce and freshly grated Parmesan cheese. I got to have dessert and go out to dinner and have cheese and crackers.....

And I still lost!

Yipppeeee.....

Missing You

2011-03-28T07:09:00.002-04:00

Number 6 of My New Years Resolutions for 2010 was to make an effort to see friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I did make a valiant effort to accomplish this but there are still friends out there that I haven't seen in forever. I realized this last night as I compiled addresses for my upcoming wedding shower.

It made me very, very sad.

I have friends who I haven't seen in 2+ years. I have friends that have had babies that I've never met. I have friends that I used to spend day in and day out with that have new homes I've never stepped foot in. I have friends that I had some of the best times of my life with. Friends that I lived with. Friends that I miss dearly.

How is it possible to balance it all? How is it possible to work and run errands and take care of the animals and yourself and STILL be able to find the time to fit in all the important friends and family members?

I suppose that making the effort is just that - making the effort. You just have to pencil it in and make it happen. I'm thinking that life is too short to NOT make it happen.

So to all my friends past and present that I haven't seen or spoken to - I think of you often, and I think of you fondly.

Most importantly, I'm missing you.

Like It's Hot

2011-03-22T09:08:00.001-04:00

I actually dance like this in the privacy of my own living room.

Admit it. So do you.

Happy Tuesday

21 To Go

2011-03-16T21:36:00.003-04:00

My weight loss as of late has been at a stand still.

Well, that's actually not true. I've recently lost two pounds.

Two. Lame. Pounds.

My lack of weight loss is all my fault. I haven't been trying as hard as I should be.

Scratch that - I haven't been trying at all.

I used to be really good at saying no. I used to be really good about seeing the actual value of certain foods and making a conscious effort of whether or not I really wanted to eat it.

Fried food - Blech. Too greasy.
Rich desserts - Ugh. My poor belly.
Heavy entrees - Just too heavy.

I used to have amazing self control. I used to say, "No thank you, I'm full," and "Oh, I've already eaten."

In the last 18 months I've stopped seeing food for what it really is and have been inhaling and engulfing practically any food item that crosses my path. I've stopped THINKING of what I'm eating and I'm just eating for the sake of eating. I've stopped truly enjoying food. I've stopped savoring each delicious bite and morel. I've stopped looking forward to having a yummy delicious meal. I now dread going out to dinner because I know that I will be completely out of control.

What bothers me most is that I've let myself go completely in terms of keeping off the weight I lost 9 years ago. When I originally dropped the 23lbs I promised myself that I would never allow myself to put it back on. I did really well for awhile, but ultimately I put the weight back on and even exceeded the weight I was when I was at my heaviest.

Yucky. Yucky. Yucky.

I've been dying to blog about this, but too ashamed to admit it. I realized that the first step in overcoming my shame is admitting what I've been up to. And oh I've been up to quite a bit - ice cream, cake, steaks, cheeses, heavy sauces, fried food, french fries, pizza, booze - I've had it all. Unfortunately it has not been in moderation resulting in the added weight.

I longer wish to have my picture taken because I can see those 23lbs all over my face.

Actually - 21 lbs - I can't forgot about those two lame pounds.

Now that I've gotten all this off my chest (which HASN'T been affected by the weight gain dammit) I'm ready to commit to losing the 21 lbs before the wedding because as my sister says:

"Pictures are forever."

Thanks Kristina.

Let the losing begin......

Stoned Maybe?

2011-03-14T22:12:00.003-04:00

I noticed something odd today during my work travels.

While waiting to take a left hand turn onto a very busy street, I noticed an African American man standing completely still in front of a mail box. In his hands he held a medium sized white envelope. He caught my attention because he would look at the envelope, then look at the mailbox, then look at the mailbox, then back down to the envelope and I thought to myself:

"What on earth is this man doing?"

He looked down at the envelope one last time before pulling open the mailbox mouth thingy. Once he had pulled down the latch, he looked into the mailbox mouth thingy for a few seconds before he slid the envelope in. He then closed the mailbox mouth thingy and proceeded to stare at the mailbox for a good 20 seconds before he slowly turned to his right and began slowly walking down the sidewalk.

"What is he looking at?"

Yes, at this point I'm STILL waiting to take my left hand turn.

I couldn't help but wonder what was this man mailing? Why was he so hesitant to put the white envelope into the mailbox?

I finally took my left hand turn and drove past the man. He had a glazed look on his face and absolutely no expression.

I wonder what he was mailing....any thoughts?

Bad Blogger

2011-03-08T23:04:00.003-05:00

I've been extremely blog neglectful as of late.

I'm such a slacker.

And it's not that I've had anything of excitement going on. It's been pretty much all the same - work, spin, walk Simon, housework - lather, rinse, repeat.

I need to add some "umph" to my routine - because my life is becoming just that. Routine.

You heard it here first - adding some UMPH as of tomorrow - vowing to blog at least 3 times a week.

Any suggestions on adding UMPH?

Dance-Y Friday

2011-02-25T07:48:00.003-05:00

I've been toe tapping and steering wheel thumping to this one all week.

One of my clients gave me a $50 gift card to iTunes as a "thank you" for bringing them to a Miami Heat vs Celtics game a few weeks back. I am currently a music downloading machine, however, I'm having a hard time spending the entire $50.

Any download recommendations?

PS - I've already downloaded every Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Usher song out there.....

Have a great weekend :)

When Life Gives You Snow.....

2011-02-23T17:00:00.004-05:00

Play In It!!!

Happy Hump Day!

Wishful Thinking

2011-02-22T17:54:00.005-05:00

* Stop spending the last few hours prior to bedtime staring at the boob tube. Read a book instead.

* Don't put a load of laundry into the washing machine unless you plan on putting that load into the dryer immediately after it's done washing it. Fold those clothes and put them away immediately after they come out of the dryer.

* Go grocery shopping when you actually have the time to grocery shop. Don't mindlessly fling items into the cart. Determine what you need, determine what you don't have, determine what you'll eat in a weeks time. Only buy those things.

* Throw on some Enya and relax with the dog. No really. Shut. Off. The. Television.

* Call a friend. Say hello. Catch up. Reminisce. Reminisce until your cheeks hurt from laughter.

* Enjoy some ice cream. Slowly. And deliciously. Can also be done whilst listening to Enya.

* Make dinner. Set the table. Light some candles. Sit down to eat dinner. Have a glass of wine. Discuss your day with your significant other. If you don't have a significant other, think about your day. Think about the possibilities of tomorrow. Smile.

* Realize that you are enough. Realize you have enough. Realize everything is just fine the way it is.

* Go to bed at a reasonable hour. Seriously - SHUT THE TELEVISION OFF.

* Dream

Ethics

2011-02-16T21:59:00.002-05:00

I attended a work related Breast Cancer seminar last night.

The keynote speaker was a prominent Radiologist from the Boston area.

She told a story of a patient that froze 8 fertilized embryos prior to undergoing her treatment for breast cancer. This particular patient tested positive for the breast cancer gene. Approximately two years post treatment, this particular patient got the ok to implant the embryos. Prior to implantation, the patient was able to have the embryos tested for the breast cancer gene. The testing revealed that 4 out of 8 embryos tested positive for the gene. The patient then opted to only implant the 4 that did NOT test positive for the gene which resulted in one baby boy being born that did not carry this gene.

The breast cancer gene does not automatically mean that someone will develop breast cancer, however, the chance is very high - about 80%. In addition to that fact, not all woman that have the gene will get breast cancer and not all women that develop cancer will succumb to the awful disease.

As I sat in the audience, I began to ponder. I thought to myself, "Is it ethically sound to 'cherry pick' when it comes to reproduction? Would I make the same choices as this patient to only implant embryos that did not carry the gene? Do the embryos that carried the breast cancer gene deserve to not be implanted because they MIGHT lead to a POTENTIALLY fatal disease MAYBE? Is it ethical to play God by picking and choosing what traits and genes are desirable? Choosing what traits and genes are undesirable?"

Where do we draw the line?

Thoughts?

Dance-Y Wednesday

2011-02-09T22:23:00.002-05:00

If you happened to be at a red light today and noticed a white woman in a silver GMC Acadia singing and jamming all by herself, this is what she was listening to:

I heart Hump Day :)

Miss Manners? Not So Much.

2011-02-08T12:37:00.006-05:00

This past Christmas I received this book from my mother:

I think she might be trying to tell me something.

Hmph.

Anywho.....

I have not had the opportunity to actually sit down and read this book from cover to cover as it's a really large book. I did, however, flip to the wedding section today as I'm preparing to send out my save the dates for our upcoming September nuptials.

Now, I like to consider myself someone that is poised and classy. Someone that says "please," and "thank you." Someone that makes eye contact when being introduced and doesn't shake hands like a wet noodle.

I thought I was down with the art of etiquette.

No comments from the peanut gallery. Ahem.

I discovered that I'm not up to code, if you will, on my etiquette.

How many of you were under the impression that you had up to a year to send someone a wedding gift?

Come on....how many??

According to page 671 of Emily Post's Etiquette 17th Edition:

"Traditionally, gifts may be sent as soon as the wedding invitation arrives, and some may come earlier if people know for certain that they'll be invited. Most guests send gifts before the wedding, but gifts may arrive afterward, particularly if the wedding is held on short notice. It is pure myth that guests have up to a year after a wedding to send gifts. Gifts should be delivered as close to the wedding date as possible, but circumstances such as an invitee's illness may cause a delay, and couples shouldn't question a late arrival."

Page 709 reads:

"Don't I have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift? No. This is another myth. Gifts should be sent before the wedding or as soon after the wedding date as possible."

Can you believe this? I can't tell you how many times I've heard friend's say, "Thank goodness I have a year to send a gift - I'm broke." I've personally never waited the year. I'd rather get the money giving out of the way right off the bat. I did however like that I at least had the option to wait if I wanted.

I can only imagine what other etiquette mishaps I've been making....

Diva

2011-02-07T07:31:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, my sister and Brian informed me that I'm hard to deal with when I don't get my way.

They told me that I'm inflexible. They told me that I have the inability to go with the flow.

After much thought and deliberation, I have to say that I concur. If Miss Piggy can get away with it then so can I.

Happy Monday :)

Tuesday Randomness

2011-02-01T20:11:00.003-05:00

* I feel really, really, REALLY guilty that I have no idea why exactly the people in Egypt are protesting. I know it has something to do with their leader....or something....but I'm not sure of the specifics. Actually, I don't even have the general gist of why they are protesting. I feel like a really bad American.

* I hate people that don't have 4-wheel drive and attempt to drive in the middle of a snowstorm. Yes, I know-drive a Prius save the environment-but COME ON!!! Back in the day (way back in the day) I drove a Dodge Neon - A very hot little compact car that didn't do so well in the snow. In the winter I would fill my trunk with cinder blocks because, HELLO, I live in New England and it snows in New England and I never ONCE got stuck in the snow with my little "I think I can, I think I can," black Dodge Neon.

* One glass of wine + not eating lunch = me being slightly tipsy as I write this post.......

* Simon licks his genitals. A lot. It really bugs me. I don't think it's the actual licking of the genitalia that bothers me but the sound of the licking of the genitalia that irks the heck out of me - it's a slurping kind of muffled licking sound (muffled because his face is between his legs) as he laps across each testicle and *dry heave* licks and licks and licks until I scream "SIMON STOP." Sometimes he looks up as if to say, "if you could lick your genitals, you would," and other times he just keeps on licking away. At that point I'm forced to leave the room.....

* Yesterday was my birthday. I was hoping all of my readers (known and lurking) would be nice enough to drop me a little love....because I'm getting old you know.....

More wine please.......

Pass The Vapo -Rub

2011-01-25T05:55:00.004-05:00

I'm sick.

Blech.

A few weeks back I had that weird stomach thingy that lasted a few days. Now it's a full on head cold and I'm phlegmy and coughy and sniffly and overall exuding zero sex appeal. My job requires that I'm in and out of physician's offices and hospitals all day, so I'm sure I brought home this current illness from work. I'm one of those people that does not believe in taking cold remedies and instead I resort to all natural means of relieving cold symptoms such as hot drinks, chicken soup, and Vitamin C. My mom recommends spiking my tea with some whiskey. My grandmother recommends rubbing my chest down with the oh so aromatic Vick's Vapo-Rub. Everyone seems to have some sort of recommendation that they swear works to ward off the evil symptoms associated with the common cold.

So what steps do you take to rid yourself of being sick? Drugs? Herbs? Nasty smelling rubs? I'm open to suggestions.

Built In Baby Sitter

2011-01-19T20:43:00.002-05:00

Most people are astonished at the size of Simon. I don't really notice anymore how massive he is because I'm around him so much. I often get the question, "What if you have kids? Are you nervous that Simon might trample them?" Although Simon can and will trample you if he really wants to, he seems to be really good with how he throws his weight around. Simon wrestles with Brian but tip-toes around the cats. After seeing this video, I'm thinking that Simon is going to be a God send when it's time to entertain any future babers.

Your Tractor IS Sexy!

2011-01-18T16:45:00.006-05:00

Brian and I originally met in the fall of 1997 at the University of New Hampshire. It was my sophomore year and his freshman year and we resided in the same dormitory and down the hall from one another. I remember the first time I noticed him. Our Resident Assistant held a floor meeting in the dormitory lounge and that's when I spotted him. I'll admit it, I was on the lookout for the hot boys in the building, so I was feverishly scanning the room for potential semester hookups- my roommate Ashley spotted a young cutey named Nick who was standing over to our right. Nick sported a labret piercing, thick black glasses, and jean overalls. Definitely cute, but not particularly my type.

I looked to the other side of the room where another group of strapping young boys were gathered and that's when I found him standing against the door frame, 6 feet tall, and with the most adorable baby face I'd ever seen. I was immediately attracted to him before I even knew what his name was.

I'm not exactly sure how it happened, or if I initiated it, but Brian and I became friends. My roommates Ashley, Kelli, and I all became friends with the "boys down the hall," including Brian. It was an amazing and extremely fun semester. We partied non-stop and I'm pretty sure that out of all of my semesters at UNH, I did the most partying this one particular semester. We had so much fun I ended up on academic probation (ouch) and Brian and his roommates were asked to leave the University (double ouch) on a permanent basis.

But did I mention it was really, really fun?

I wouldn't say that Brian and I necessarily dated that semester. We did have a few drunken make out sessions, but that was the extent of our romantic relationship. I returned to UNH for the second semester of my sophomore year and got my act together. It was sad to see three new boys living in Brian's old dorm room. I was sad that he was gone, but I was 20 years old at this point and the fraternity house ATO was directly across the street. Needless to say I didn't stay sad for long and my second semester of my sophomore year was also really, really fun - Details of which I cannot share.....but trust me, it was really, really, REALLY fun.

Ashley can vouch for that ;)

Regardless of how fun my time at UNH was, or how many boys I dated, I never forgot about Brian - the boy that lived down the hall.

Fast forward to Sunday September 24, 2006. A good friend of mine convinced me to join this fairly new social networking site called MySpace. Upon joining, setting up my profile, and uploading my picture I remember thinking to myself, "who should I look for on this thing?"

I was able to recall Brian's first and last name, so I typed it in, and there he was. His picture was staring back at me and it was the face I remembered - adorable baby face, except now, he was wearing glasses. I sent him a message that started with, "I don't know if you remember me, but I lived down the hall from you your freshman year...." Within minutes he responded, "Of course I remember you!" We sent a few messages back and forth with the typical small talk stuff - Where do you live? What have you been up to? We should grab a drink sometime. I was astonished at how quickly I had reconnected with someone from my past considering I JUST joined. We exchanged numbers. I had no clue that this would lead me to the man that I'm going to marry.

He called me the next morning at 10:00 am. I remembered thinking to myself, "Wow, eager beaver," but I was single and ready to mingle so I figured what the hell.

"What does your week look like?" Brian asked.

"Oooh, uh, I'm really busy with work and stuff, and the only night I'm available is tonight."

On September 25, 2006 Brian and I went on our first date. I don't remember anything in particular that stood out about that date except that we picked up where we left off. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't excited, I didn't feel self-conscious. I just felt normal, like I was having drinks with an old friend. I felt so at ease that it didn't feel like a first date at all. He walked me to my door and we kissed. It wasn't a kiss kiss. It was the type of kiss that friends usually give on the cheek when they are saying good-bye. A little non-romantic peck. We both miscalculated the whole cheek thing and our lips smacked together in an ungraceful, hey nice to see you, talk to you later, sort of way. I remember closing the door and thinking, "Was that a kiss?"

My super duper busy schedule for the week somehow opened up and Brian and I spent every night together that week. Our relationship became official in November when Brian shared with me that he "changed his status" on MySpace from "single" to "in a relationship." That was the extent of the conversation that established our exclusivity. Thank goodness our communication skills have improved tremendously since the early days of our relationship.

Where am I going with all of this and for the love of PETE, what is the good news I need to share? I'm getting there, I swear.

In the beginning Brian's job was not an issue. He worked managing a landscaping and irrigation company. In the summer his hours were flexible. He had to be in work at 7 a.m. and sometimes he would get out at 2. Sometimes 3. Sometimes 4. It didn't matter to me as he would usually come over to my apartment at 7:30 which gave me enough time to eat dinner, work out, and shower before he came over to hang out. He would be gone in the morning at 6:15 leaving me in peace to get ready for work. His occupation did not become an issue until that February when he told me he wasn't going to be around for Valentine's Day.

Ah-hum what? Hell to the nah.

You see in the winter Brian has to plow snow and has to head into work when his boss calls and says "come into work." I was APPALLED that I had to spend Valentine's Day alone even though I had a boyfriend. I spent plenty of them alone as a single gal which is to be expected, but I wasn't prepared to spend it alone now that I was in a relationship. I wanted to be understanding but it was hard not being able to make plans for New Years or Valentines Day or Christmas or my birthday (which falls in January) because if a storm happened to blow in, Brian would have to go to work. All of our winter plans were on a tentative basis.

The issue of Brian's employment became a serious issue once we bought a house and got a dog. Plowing a storm usually involves working for 24-30 hours STRAIGHT, coming home to sleep for 12 hours, leaving for another 12 and then recouping on sleep for another 24 hours. One storm usually means that Brian is unavailable for a good 4 days in a row. He also plows 45 minutes north of our home which means he has a trek into work. He then is up for 24 to 30 hours and has to drive the 45 minutes back home which makes me a nervous wreck. In addition his hours are not set so I don't know what time he is leaving and when he will get back. This was fine when we were living separately without a ton of responsibilities, but now it's unacceptable, especially during this last big storm. How would I manage if we had children? Who would take the dog out (we do not have a fenced yard)? Who would watch the kids while I had to shovel in order to take the dog out? It just wasn't working.

Brian gave his notice on Monday - HALLELUJAH!!! I had told Brian he would need to start networking in order to find a good opportunity as most desirable jobs are found this way. About a month ago he was at a John Deere location buying supplies for work and inquired about positions within the company. The manager informed him that a management opening was available at the John Deere location that amazingly is 5 minutes from our home. SCORE!!! The application process was long, and drawn out, but based on his qualifications he was hired for the position. This means set hours of 8-4 Monday through Friday and AH-MAZING benefits.

The benefits alone give me a hard on.

Yes, me. Not him.

No, I do not have a penis, but if I did, it would be erect.

Anywho, he is working for a great company with plenty of opportunities to move up and around within the company.

Brian has been plowing for the last 13 years and is looking forward to spending a snowstorm with me and the dog by the fireplace with a glass of wine. I'm looking forward to it as well.

Congrats babe - I told you you could do it.

Super Duper Yippity Great!

2011-01-14T08:54:00.003-05:00

I have great news.

I have wonderfully great news.

I have news that is about to change my life as I know it.

Except - I can't share just yet.

I can share on Monday.

No I am not pregnant.

No I haven't won the lottery.

I'm super excited!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Paper or Plastic?

2011-01-09T20:36:00.008-05:00

I loathe going to the grocery store.

Let me rephrase that: I LO-HOATHE going to the grocery store.

People generally irritate me on a daily basis for no particular or specific reason other than I irritate easily, however, people at the grocery store bring my irritation to an entirely new level.

My irritation begins in the parking lot. It's starts with Ms. "I Drive A Really Big SUV That My Husband Bought Me, But Failed To Teach Me How To Drive." You know this lady - attempting to 23 point turn her Escalade into a parking space that could fit a semi truck. Reverse. Forward. Reverse. Forward. Roll down the window. Look for yellow line. Find yellow line. Reverse. Forward. Reverse. Forward. Roll down the window. Look for yellow line. Notice tires are over yellow line. Decide parking job is OK. Attempt to squeeze out of Escalade all the while trying not to smash door into adjacent car's side view mirror.

I hate his lady.

I hate this lady even more when she is waiting for another shopper to vacate their spot. She sits there, with her blinker on, blocking the ENTIRE lane waiting for a shopper (usually an elderly shopper which takes FOR DAYS) when - OH look at that! There are empty spaces about 3 -One, Two, THREE - spaces down but you HAVE to have the one that is that much closer to the store.

Moron. Fine. I'll wait here because you've made it absolutely impossible for me to go around you. Fine. FINE!

OK. Deep breaths. I move on from the moron Escalade driver and manage to park my SUV (which I do indeed know how to drive) equidistant from the yellow lines on either side. Smack dab in the middle of my space. Perfection. That is when I notice the lady two cars down from me emptying her groceries from the cart and placing them into her trunk. She then takes her cart and places it in between the two cars next to her.

What? The? F?

Major irritation number #2. How hard is it to take the extra 20 steps to the carriage corral thingy and roll your cart into it? Just rolllllllllllll the cart in. Then walk 20 steps back to your car and head home to consume your 5 cases of Coca-Cola accompanied by your 10 boxes of doughnuts topped off with your assortment of Hostess Cakes. I'm no physician, but dabbling in some walking might help with your diabetes, hypertension and cholesterol.

You fat, lazy, irresponsible, cart leaver lady.

I hate that lady. Doesn't she realize that the cart could potentially scratch someone's vehicle? Oh that's right, she doesn't, because she already has a mouthful of a Milky Way bar and needs to rush home so that she can wash it down with some chocolate syrup.

Ugh.

Major Irritation #3 - Mothers.

*Sigh* sorry guys.

Allow me to be more specific: mothers at the grocery store don't bother me all the time. They only bother me when it's JAMMED PACKED and they decide that this is a wonderful time to make grocery shopping a learning experience for little Johnny.

For example - for the LOVE OF PETE and my sanity please do not allow your child to push and/or navigate the cart if the grocery store is crowded and people are trying to rush in and rush out.

"OK Johnny let's go over to the yogurts. Okayyyyyyy? Over to the yogurts. To the right. You know your right. Riiiiiight. OK honey. To the right. Greattttt job." Johnny's mom looks up and gives a smile and a cutesy shoulder shrug to the bloodthirsty patrons behind her as if to say - "Isn't my little Johnny adorable? He's just learning his directions."

Nope, not adorable. Not at all. I have 20 minutes to grab my groceries and get home because I have to fly to my second job. In fact I'm having visions of slamming little Johnny's face into the Yoplaits because I just want to roll on by and I can't because little Johnny is trying to figure out which way is left and which way is right, but come on, isn't that what they have daycares for? Or Kindergarten? Or HOME? ON YOUR TIME? I know this may seem like a perfectly wonderful time to teach your child the feeling of independence and responsibility but beware, I will clip your child's ankles with my cart if they are in my way.

What?

Irritation #4 - Men

I've realized that most men at the grocery store have yet to realize that navigating the aisles is like driving - simply stay to the right. If you see a section that you need to peruse simply park your cart as far to the right as possible and THEN search for your item and THEN move on. Leaving your cart in the middle of the aisle is unacceptable. Shooting me a dirty look when I say "Excuse Me," is unacceptable. Stay. To. The. Right.

My final irritation brings us back to the parking lot. I'm excited - I have my groceries, I've lived through the food stamp shoppers, I'm out of the store, and I'm heading home. That is when I notice it.

The car that has parked over the yellow line and is practically in my space despite the 5 empty spots next to it. This means I have to shimmy myself between the cars, open my door and rest it on the side view mirror of the other car, and wiggle my way into the car. Between the shimmying and the wiggling I've managed to sideswipe one of the cars with my coat which means I know have a big dust mark on my coat because I live in the Northeast and cars are dirty this time of year.

Luckily for me I have an awesome fiance (thanks Brian) that usually does our food shopping. For whatever reason, Brian isn't phased by the chaos that is the supermarket.

Or maybe he is just trying to get out of the house and away from his irritable soon to be wife and the chaos at the supermarket is a walk in the park compared to dealing with me.

Hmmmmm.......

Monday Night

2011-01-03T22:37:00.005-05:00

My spin class tonight was not full.

WTF?

It's the very first Monday of 2011 - the first day of the work week. The first day for people to "go to the gym" after work to start their new "I'm going to get healthy this year" resolution.

I only had one new face in my class tonight among my regulars. Last year, half the class were new faces.

What is going on?

Are people giving up on getting healthy?

When I left my classroom, I looked around at the cardio machines - normally this time of year they are all taken. Tonight, plenty were up for grabs.

Where is everyone?

How many of you worked out today?

Adios. Sionara. Peace Out.

2010-12-31T15:31:00.003-05:00

In approximately 9 hours 2010 will be gone.

I'm super excited.

I don't know what it is about the beginning of the year that gets me so amped up and excited. I think it has something to do with the ability to make a fresh start. A new diet, a new haircut, a new outlook on life, love, work, whatever. The possibilities are endless.

On another note, I will finally be able to say "I'm getting married this year."

Holy crap.

I wish all of you a safe, happy, and healthy New Year!

To My Animal Lovers....

2010-12-22T09:52:00.003-05:00

There are some days when taking Simon for a walk irritates the living h*ll out of me.
It's too cold. It's too wet. It's too late. I'm too busy.....

And then when I'm actually out in the neighborhood walking along the quiet side streets and listening to the rhythm of Simon's breath, I am happy that he has forced me out into the crisp air. I start to listen to the rhythm of my own breath and become aware of the rhythm of my feet.

Left. Right. Left. Right. Inhale. Exhale. Left. Right. Left. Right. Inhale. Exhale.

It's actually quite calming. I look down at Simon who always smiles up at me as if to say, "See Mom, walks are the bomb."

It's hard to admit it - but the dog has got a point.

Thanks Simon.

I Invented Roll It

2010-12-18T18:30:00.002-05:00

A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon + this video =

Wicked Funny!

Happy Weekend!

Skank

2010-12-16T09:14:00.006-05:00

I had a newbie in my class tonight.

I sure do love me some newbies.

Apparently, this young lady was dragged kicking and screaming by her girlfriend to her very first spin class.

Yay for me.

Upon entering the classroom I was summoned by said girlfriend to help with bike set up.

"Can you help us set up her bike, it's her VERY first time."

Can you kiss my ass?

"Of course I will, I'll be right over!" **Insert phony exercise instructor enthusiasm here**

I saunter over to the newbie who was standing next to her bike with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"Ok, can you hop on the bike so I can figure out what needs to be adjusted?"

Get your a*s on the bike, and figure this out yourself.

The newbie gets on the bike, still scowling, and asks "Now what?"

"Ok, well put your sneakers in the foot cage so that I can figure out what we should adjust."

Newbie replies, "Why am I going to put my foot in there if I'm just going to have to get off the bike to adjust it?"

Put your foot in the f*cking foot cage before I break it off!

"Well we want to make sure we properly adjust your bike in order to prevent injury." **Insert even phonier exercise instructor smile here**

I eventually manage to correctly adjust the newbie's bike. With a big smile on my face I ask her, "So, how does it feel?"

"Like a bike," she replies.

I clench my jaw and force my hands down by my side in order to NOT knock this pissy girl off the bike and onto her a*s.

"Well, is it comfortable?"

Go to hell evil newbie SKANK!

"Uh, I guess. Feels like a bike."

I decide to drop the issue of bike set up and instead move on to bike positions.

"Ok, there are three positions...."

"What," she exclaims still scowling, "there are positions?!"

Listen you ignorant, snooty, pain in my FREAKING a*s, I don't really care if you stay or leave or like spin or hate it or hurt yourself or fall of the bike and crack your head open because I'm still getting paid for the hour whether you break a sweat or not. So shut up, sit down, and more importantly SHUT UP!

"Yes, three of them actually."

I explained all of the positions and showed her how to operate the resistance knob, and then sauntered back to the front of the room to teach the class.

At the end of class, I asked the Newbie, "So what do you think?"

With a scowl she replied, "I didn't hate it."

What she probably didn't realize was that I hated her. She probably has no idea that I'm talking smack about her ALLL OVER the internet right now.

Skank.

Dance-y Part Deux

2010-12-14T09:58:00.002-05:00

I've never played the drums. I, however, play pretty mean air drums to this song. I really should be listening to Christmas Carols this time of year, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it....

Someone was on some good drugs when they came up with the concept of this video....reminds me of a cross between Alice in Wonderland and Beetlejuice.

So fabulous to dance to...double claps and all....

Dance-y

2010-12-09T20:53:00.004-05:00

Brian is having a hard time accepting the fact that at any moment, at any time of the day, good week, bad week, happy and/or sad.......I will instantaneously break out into a solo dance party in the kitchen.

The selection for this week:

He is happy, however, that I've given Ms. Gaga a break.....I think if he hears Poker Face one more time I might be sleeping on the deck....

Party Animal. Literally.

2010-12-05T16:27:00.011-05:00

Simon and his brothers and sisters turn 1 on December 7th. Simon's brother MacGregor hosted a birthday bash on Sunday for all the pups.

Simon loved sporting his birthday hat and birthday bandanna.

They even had cake made with peperoni and turkey. Simon thought it was delicious.

It's hard to believe that these little darlings.....

Aren't so little anymore. Simon & Brian are second in from the right.

Simon's brother Teddie is partied out!

Happy 1st birthday Newfies!

This Is My Winter Song To You

2010-12-02T20:34:00.007-05:00

For a greater part of my life I slept about 18 inches away from my little sister. We had matching twin beds parallel to each other separated only by a small bedside table that we shared. We had one little lamp that we would fight over.

"I want it on," she would whine.
"I want it off," I would whine back.

We were also just a leg stretch and an arms reach away from each other. When she would annoy me, I could easily kick her or her bed and she could easily slap me over the head with her pillow without having to move nothing but her arm. She would get angry with me because I would leave clothes on the floor. I would get angry with her when I would wake up at 1 a.m. to find her laughing at a Simpsons episode.

"I have to get up and go to work. Shut the TV off," I would hiss.
"Shut up," she'd retort, "I'll lower it."

I shared a room with my sister as early as 1984 when she was sleeping in a crib, up until I finally made my last and final move "out" at 26, approximately 6 years ago. Growing up, I envied girls that had their own bedroom. I envied the space and the ability to decorate as they saw fit. I envied their ability to have friends over in their bedroom without their little sister saying, "hey, this is MY room TOO!" I envied girls that didn't have to leave the room to talk on the phone with boys.

So what does sharing a room with my little sister have to do with the holidays?

When Christmas morning would roll around, I would awaken to a pair of wide green eyes 2 inches from my face. A head smothered with blond ringlet curls would whisper:

"Wake up Sia, let's open presents!!"

When I was younger, I would get up and go downstairs with her. When I was a teenager, I would roll over and grumble and tell her to leave me alone.

What? I was a hormonal teenager!

As I grew into a young adult and moved out of the house, I would still spend the night at my mom's on Christmas Eve. The "wake up to open presents" changed to "wake up, have some coffee, and then open presents." For the last three years, I would purchase a matching pair of pajamas for us to wear on Christmas Eve. This was Christmas 2008:

Last year, I stayed in my own home Christmas Eve. I purchased matching pajamas, but I wasn't at my mom's house to wear them with my sister. To be honest, not waking up next to my little sister on Christmas morning absolutely breaks my heart. I suppose I need to grow up and accept the fact that I'm getting married and starting a new life with new traditions. Unfortunately, it just doesn't feel the same.....it doesn't feel like Christmas without her, and that makes me so very sad.

Looking back I feel so fortunate to have cohabited in such a small space with such a wonderful sister. I cherish the relationship we have and I realize how unique and special it is when others ask, "don't you two EVER fight?" Our answer is always a shoulder shrug followed with a "nah, not really." Don't get me wrong, we had our squabbles and our name calling and our "your so stupids," but it never really lasted beyond that moment. We always seemed to patch things up rather quickly with an all out raging dance party in our teeny tiny bedroom.

There is a song and a video that reminds me of the times I've spent with my sister back in the day in our little bedroom.....

I wish I could have those days back again.

Love you lil' sis :)

Tips On Tipping?

2010-12-01T21:08:00.003-05:00

Welcome to December 1st everyone - the 25 day countdown to the biggest holiday of the year is officially on. My goal this month is to blog holiday/season related posts every day up until and on Ho, Ho, Ho Christmas.

It's a goal. A big one. Hopefully I will be able to reach it.

Anywho, I wanted to officially kick of the holiday season with a topic that seems to have exploded onto the scene as of, well, today. Depending on who you speak with, this topic can be rather controversial.

Drum rolllllllllllll - Holiday tipping.

According to most tipping experts (who are these people?) tipping during the holidays should be more then what you would normally tip during the rest of the year. According to these experts (does becoming an expert require an advanced degree?) tipping 10%-15% is a thing of the past and 20% and up is the new norm. These experts also suggest to tip individuals such as our mail carriers and our trashmen. According to reports I've read, it is suggested to offer $20 to your mailman and $20 to EACH of the men that pick up your garbage. They also suggest a heftier tip for your favorite barista, hairdresser and manicurist.

My own opinion? Why? Why is it that we have to tip some people and not others? I understand that some professions are more service orientated then others but isn't every job on some level providing a service for someone somewhere? Although I respect and am thankful that I have a trashman that picks up my trash every single week I can't help but wonder WHY I should be tipping them. That is what they get paid for. It's their job. Drive around. Stop. Pick up trash. Drive around. Stop. Pick up trash. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

It would be different if Mr. Trash Man assisted in helping me bring trash from INSIDE the house to the curb - that is going beyond what he gets paid to do and I would absolutely provide a tip. But a tip for doing what you get paid to do anyway? That doesn't make sense. An argument I've heard is that trashmen deserve a tip because their job is so gross and disgusting and they pick up our trash and it smells and ewwwwww......

Sssssssssooooo if I'm understanding the argument correctly - these individuals CHOSE to embark on a profession that involves handling stinky, smelly trash and I'm supposed to reward them extra for the profession they've chosen - that they are getting paid for? If that were the case, then I deserve a hug for every client that slams the door in my face because although I chose to go into a profession that involves cold calling and dealing with rotten people it is necessary for others to coddle me.

Yeah exactly - wouldn't happen.

And the postal workers? My mailman, who is a lovely gentleman, rolls up to my mailbox in his truck, does not need to get out of the truck, opens the box, and slides my mail in. Then he collects a paycheck. What am I tipping exactly? If I were unable to get to my mailbox because I was elderly or handicap and the mailman delivered my mail directly into my hands inside the house, then yes, tip deserved.

Why do we need to tip waiters and waitresses more during the holidays? I traditionally always tip a smidgen more than 20% because I always round up to the nearest dollar, move the decimal over to determine 10% and then double that number. If the server is exceptional, I will leave a little more.

But why are we expected to give more than normal during the holidays? My clients don't send more business my way because it's the holidays. So once again why some professions and not others? Why do we need to reward extra for someone just doing what they are supposed to do because it is their job?

To be fair I have never worked in a profession that involved tipping, therefore I have no idea what it's like to depend on tipping for income. I understand that good money can be made in these types of professions, but I am not the type of person that could deal with a varying income from week to week. I like to know exactly how much I'm making week to week and if I made an added commission based on how hard I worked then wonderful.

So what's the deal? Is anyone passing out extra money this holiday season? If you are, who are you tipping extra? Why are you tipping extra and how much extra....is extra?

Bah Humbug

2010-11-29T08:31:00.004-05:00

Brian called me Scrooge yesterday.

"I just don't feelllll like putting up Christmas decorations," I whined and sulked as I hung lights around our tree.

"Ok Scrooge," he replied.

"Ebenezer Scrooge wasn't that bad," I snorted back, "he was merely misunderstood."

Deep down, I knew he was right. I was acting like a whiny, bitchy, baby. We were spending time together and decorating our home for the upcoming holiday season and I wanted no part of it. None. Zip. Zero.

As I get older I get less and less fond of the holidays. I dread the stretch of the year that starts with Thanksgiving and ends with Easter. The constant hustle and bustle. The spending of money. The running around. The stress. The stress at work to "keep up the momentum" because the "holidays are coming." The eating and the expectations to eat because hey - it's the holidays - you're suppose to eat pie and cake and cookies even if you don't really feel like it. The feeling guilty for not meeting loved one's expectations when it comes to gift giving or the time spent with them not being enough time. And YAY, Happy New Year - you're another year older, WOO HOO! Not to mention the other stresses in life don't go away during this time - laundry still needs to get done, and groceries and dishes and vacuuming and bills and SIGH. It's all so exhausting.

How do people do this with kids?

So yeah, I'm admitting it. I'm not looking forward to the holidays.

Is anyone else NOT floating around like a perky little elf this season - or am I truly just being a big fat Scrooge?

Ooooh That Face!

2010-11-22T08:55:00.001-05:00

I kiss the dog more then I kiss Brian.

Sorry Brian.

I Feel It

2010-11-17T21:22:00.002-05:00

The scratchy throat.

The one runny nostril.

The one stuffed nostril.

The watery eyes.

The constant sneezing.

The irritability.

I'm getting sick.

I hate being sick.

Blech.

Love Comes....

2010-11-14T19:03:00.005-05:00

In all shapes and sizes.....

And in all walks of life.....

Hope you experienced some love this weekend!

Foot Tappin'

2010-11-10T19:51:00.006-05:00

I have to give my new friend and wedding photographer Melissa credit for this one.

This song gives me that warm ooshy gooshy feeling on the inside. It makes me excited about my pending nuptials - 318 days to go. YOWZA!

Happy Wednesday :)

Kid Prep

2010-11-05T01:12:00.008-04:00

"Someone vomited all over the bedroom and I just stepped in it" Brian bellows across the house. By someone he means one of the cats, and by one of the cats he means one of MY cats. I immediately grab a roll of paper towels and some floor disinfectant as I have a pretty decent idea of what I'm going to encounter in the bedroom. I peer around the corner to find Brian staring at the piles of cat vomit that he just slid through. Fortunately for him, he was wearing slippers at the time. Fortunately for me and I was able to easily rinse the bottoms off.

"It's smells like vomit in here."

"No Brian, it smells like cat food in here, because that's what the cat vomited up, chill out."

At this point, I am unsure WHICH cat did the vomiting.

"I just want to go to bed," he says, "I don't feel like dealing with vomit tonight."

I usher Brian off to the kitchen so that I can clean up the piles of vomit. Cat vomit is such a norm in this house that it doesn't even phase me anymore. I carefully inspect each pile in order to determine which kitty was responsible for the heaping piles of puke. Upon inspection I come across a hairball. An orange hairball. The culprit:

Mia. She almost seems too pretty to be the producer of such large piles of cat puke, but alas, the fire orange furball is a dead giveaway.

"Relax," I tell Brian, "I will clean it up, and then you can go to bed."

I hear him mumbling and grumbling down the hallway and only catch the phrases, "gross, ridiculous, exhausted, stupid cats....."

I'm secretly laughing to myself as I'm knelt over a heaping pile of vomit which doesn't bother me in the least, but is driving Brian absolutely BANANAS.

Anywho, so I finish cleaning up the floor and I make sure everything is spickity span.

"Ok. All done. You can go to bed now."

We pass each other in the hallway, say goodnight, and Brian goes off to bed. I return to the kitchen to replace the paper towels and disinfectant to their homes in the cabinet beneath the kitchen sink.

"WHAT THEEEEEEEE??!? THERE IS VOMIT ALL OVER THE BED!!!!"

This stops me in my tracks. Now, the cats usually vomit on the floor. The most creative vomiting locations are usually rugs, or bath mats, or UNDER the bed - but never on any furniture.

"WHAT? IN THE BED?" I go running down the hall to find Brian and his hand covered in kitty puke. Apparently, he grabbed a pile of it as he attempted to turn down the duvet and instead plunked his hand directly into the vomit.

More mumbling and grumbling down the hallway as he went to wash his hands. In addition to two large heaping piles of vomit on the floor, Mia also managed to vomit two additional large piles of undigested cat food on my duvet and on my sheets. Luckily, the vomit on the sheets did not seep through to stain the mattress cover. My down comforter wasn't so lucky.

So Brian's bedtime is now further delayed as we strip the bed of sheets and blankets, and pillows and duvet covers.

Now to recap the last few months of wild kingdom behavior that has been exhibited in my home - Ebenezer urinated on practically every piece of furniture we own (minus our bed thank goodness) when he was sick. After his surgery, he left small specs of blood throughout the house that originated from his healing surgical wound. Mia has managed to get poo stuck in that pretty coat of hers and track it all over the house including onto my pillow. Mia has also vomited multiple times on the one and only rug we have throughout the whole house and has now successfully vomited on the bed. In addition to vomiting, Mia urinated on the door mat when I accidentally closed the door to our spare bedroom overnight. The spare bedroom houses the kitty boxes so she resorted to relieving herself on the door mat. This move on her part was actually surprising since whenever she gets angry with us, she will urinate in the upstairs tub. Simon has lifted his leg and urinated on a laundry basket of clean clothes, and when he shakes his head he sends slobber to 4 corners of the room. He also experiences nights of restless sleep when he is convinced that someone or something is outside the house which sends him into a frenzy of deep throated howls and barks followed by whimpering and crying. Simon WILL NOT go back to sleep unless I get up, join him on the floor, calm him down by petting his nose all the while telling him he is a "good boy" and to "Shhhhh, go back to sleep."

In my defense I keep a very tidy house, so guests would NEVER know that I spend a small fortune on rug cleaning, disinfectants, paper towels and other cleaning agents to remove any and all traces of inappropriate behavior of my animals.

It's a given that my life would be much easier and less messy if I didn't have the animals, but Brian and I remind ourselves that this is GREAT practice for having children. Sleepless nights and bodily fluids in random places will not be as much of a shock due to the practice we are getting from the little petting farm we are currently operating out of our home. I know it won't be nearly the same but at least we have an idea of what to expect. And I'm thinking that cat vomit is way more gross than cute baby vomit.

100th Post

2010-11-01T21:26:00.002-04:00

Wow. Can you believe it?

I struggled to think of a topic special enough and GRAND enough to be associated with the honor of being my 100th post.

But then it came to me.

It's you. It's all about you. Well, technically it's all about me - but it's all about you wanting to read all about me.

I thank you for wanting to read about the little corner I've carved out in this big wide world. I thank you for reading about my animals - about my big slobbery dog and my transsexual cat. I thank you for reading about my family, about my Brian, about my shlumpadinkaness and about my constant struggles with what I put in my mouth - meaning food of course.

Thanks for being here and commenting and showing the love.

I'm looking forward to the next 100 posts - I hope you are as well :)

Cheerleader

2010-10-28T09:15:00.004-04:00

Accountability has been my largest hurdle when it comes to eating right, eating smaller portions, and exercising. I posses a TON of knowledge as it pertains to health and nutrition. I know I need to slow down when I eat as it takes the brain 20 minutes to realize my tummy is indeed full. I know I slim down fastest when I run and that lifting free weights aids in speeding up my metabolism. I know that getting plenty of sleep is important to overall health and well being. I know it's important to keep moving, to keep stretching, and to keep taking deep breaths.

My problem?

My problem is transferring the "knowing" into "doing."

I've done it before and I will do it again.

It's much easier to transform knowing into doing when you're doing it with a buddy. A girlfriend, a spouse, a parent - someone that can relate to you wanting to eat the entire plate of lasagna because who doesn't love a plate full of yummy, cheesy goodness. It's so much easier when you have that second voice, kind of like an angel sitting on your right shoulder to say, "Maybe we should have half, and take the rest home to eat later." It's so much easier to have someone that cares whether or not you bothered to peel yourself away from the TV, housework or errands to take a walk or go to the gym.

Something like a fitness cheerleader if you will.

I could have attempted to transform Brian into my fitness cheerleader, but I knew he wouldn't be the person to motivate me and hold me accountable. Brian is a guy. Brian can take Simon for a 20 minute walk, devour half a pepperoni pizza, and not gain a pound.

It's just not fair.

I decided to recruit my new friend over at Life Of A Doctor's Wife for a little fitness/eating right challenge. I am extending the invitation to all of you if you would like to join our little challenge. Details will be posted here by November 1st, so if you're interested drop me an email (accordingtoanastasia@gmail.com) or comment here.

It's going to be awesome!!

Ouchy

2010-10-26T21:30:00.003-04:00

Today's post was supposed to be about my latest healthcare/weight loss/eating right venture.

Unfortunately I am experiencing severe neck and back pain.

So instead of propping Brian's computer on my lap and blogging, I am going to pop 4 Advil, rub myself down with Freeze-It (a muscle, joint & pain relief roll-on that smells very geriatric), and get into bed to snuggle and acquaint myself with our heating pad.

I may just add a glass of wine to the above treatment plan.

Possibly two.

Nighty nighty.

Props

2010-10-25T21:27:00.002-04:00

I am very behind on my blogging. It's not that I don't have tons to write about, it's just that I can't manage to carve out the time to write about it.

BUT - as part of Detoxtober, I am taking the time this week.

SO - things that are coming this week (as I'm vowing to blog every day) include organizing, bridesmaid dresses, sex (again!), health challenges, and date night stuff.

I wanted to kick off the week by giving major props to my future hubs, Brian. I've been a Spin instructor for three years and Brian has never attended any of my classes. Ever.

Evvvvvverrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

As a matter of fact, Brian hasn't stepped foot in a gym in like 10 years.

So last week he made the comment, "I think I'll come to your class next week," as little pigs flew around his head.

Possessed?
Aliens?
Jedi mind tricks?
What is going on?

I stared at him disbelief. I've asked over and over and over again for him to come to class and I was always met with, "No. You're scary and mean. I don't want to die."

Not only did he show up tonight, but he did EVERYthing I asked of him. Up, down, faster, slower, over, harder, longer.....he kept up with my most fit regulars.

Then we went home and ate pizza :)

With Pepperoni.

And ice cream.

Happy Monday!!!

Frequency?

2010-10-18T22:12:00.002-04:00

I had an extremely interesting conversation Saturday night accompanied by delicious pink cosmos.

Brian and I ventured into Boston to visit a friend's new bar. After about two strong drinks, I managed to build up enough courage to ask a question I've been dying to ask here - I figured I'd start with a table full of people, mostly couples, and then report my findings.

"So.....how often do you guys have sex? What's the norm?"

The proverbial record skipped.

Interestingly enough, after about a 3 second pause at the table where I was secretly wishing I hadn't asked the question and trying to avoid Brian's dagger stare which conveyed the message "I can't believe you just asked that, we are in public and you are being inappropriate:" the conversation took on a life of it's own, and everyone started to chime in.

I shot Brian back a look as if to say, "See, totally acceptable topic of conversation for a bar, on a Saturday night."

The answers were what I expected. Most quoted about 2-3 times a week, 4 times on a good week.

After the question of frequency was answered, the conversation veered from frequency to content.

*NOTE* I specifically asked about FREQUENCY - the content part had nothing to do with me.

SO - people chimed in with questions such as:
How often is oral given?
How often is it received?
Is cuddling involved?
Romance?

At this point I'm beaming over the topic that I had introduced which everyone was so willing to chat about. I excitedly listened as accusations flew across the table:

"Um, we don't cuddle."
"Ohhhhhh no, you don't do THAT anymore!"
"Dry humping my leg does NOT count as romance!"
"Your idea of foreplay is so off target."

So.....are you willing to comment? Comment on frequency? Comment on content? Are you happy with the level of "activity?" What would you change? What would you add? Are you willing to admit any grievances, complaints, and or praises?

Because I'm nosy and want to hear all about it :)

Crashed

2010-10-15T09:11:00.002-04:00

My laptop is sick.

So sick, it refuses to turn on.

I spent a good part of my day yesterday on the phone with Agent Green trying to uncover why my 2 year old laptop decided it was time to shat the bed.

When he proved unsuccessful in helping, I had to lug the darn thing to the Geek Squad at Best Buy.

"Two to three weeks to fix m'am."

You can shove your two to three weeks up your arse with your little black tie.

"Wonderful, thank you for all of your help, MmBa-bye."

To make matters worse, I never back up my work.

It's amazing to me how I'm so smart and intelligent with so many aspects of my life, yet I did not back up anything on my computer.

So irritating.

TGIF people.

Fur Babies Part Two

2010-10-06T23:03:00.009-04:00

I can't resist. More pictures of my furry children. With Ebenezer feeling better, I've reverted back to enjoying how wonderful my little zoo is, how much I love them, and how much joy (vomit on the rug, urine on the kitchen table leg, poop accidents in the hallway, hair all over EVERYTHING) they bring to my household.
Then:
When we got Simon, he was about the same size as Ebenezer - roughly 16-18lbs. It was a fair fighting match back in February.

Then:
Simon could fit comfortably on our laps for snuggling. We would constantly pick him up and dance with him, cuddle with him, and give him giant hugs - I mean look at him - he was built for hugging.....
Now:
Simon has quadrupled in size. He averages about 10lbs of growth each month. At the beginning of September he weighed in at a whopping 102lbs at 9 months old. Snuggling and hugging is really no longer an option. I can't believe he was ever a little bug.

They grow up so darn fast.....

Each time he needs to pee at 3am, or chews a pair of my shoes, or furniture or chases after a squirrel dragging me along with him I tell myself - "No WAY would I do this again..."

But then I look at his baby pictures and I melt - and want to do it all over again....

So this must be how people end up with so many kids of the non-furry variety.....

Fur Babies

2010-10-04T22:15:00.009-04:00

Is it wrong that on most days I prefer spending time with my animals over spending time with people?

I have two sleeping kitties on the bed with me as I type. We are back to our nighttime TV watching routine.

This makes me ridiculously happy.

Detoxtober

2010-10-01T09:30:00.002-04:00

Um hello? Where the heck did September go?

SERIOUSLY?!?! I'm still mourning the loss of the summer of 2010 and Labor Day Weekend was like yesterday and then BLAM! The calendar boasts October 1st. The grocery stores have oodles and oodles of fresh apples. Coffee shops are advertising that the "pumpkin spice, apple spice, spice whatever" latte is back. The leaves are turning, pumpkins are for sale, and my besty friend Janel texted me this morning to alert me she bought a hay bale yesterday with a coupon for 50% off.

I somehow breezed through September without even taking a moment to enjoy it. I hate it when that happens. Granted, the majority of September was spent doting on Ebenezer and his issues, but still? Flew. Right. On. By.

So I have two things I'd like to discuss here on Friday October 1st. First being a little thing I like to call Detoxtober.

What is Detoxtober? Well I'm glad you asked! Detoxtober is a little word I like to use for the month of October. This is the last month before the holiday season explodes upon us. Stress, overeating, rushing around like frenzied maniacs....it's all on it's way.

Well, at least for me it is.

Detoxtober is a time to get it all together, and well, detox. Not necessarily detox in the Betty Ford sense of detox - but detox in terms of whatever it is in your life that you'd like to detox from. Bad food, lack of activity, clutter, half finished projects, one too many glasses of wine when one gets home from work, eating out too much - whatever. It's time now to deal with it now, because once November rolls around - you won't have the time or desire. My advice is to start now.

So, with that being said, it's time to take the Detoxtober pledge. I have three items I'd like to focus on this October:

1) De-Clutter. Big time. Brian and I moved into our home well over a year ago. We have several boxes that remain unpacked, several pictures that have yet to grace the walls, and oodles and oodles of old paperwork that needs to be shredded and recycled. Not to mention bins and closets full to the seams with clothes that neither of us wear. It's all going. Donated. Sold. Whatever. Gone baby gone.

2) I have to start moving more. I used to be a 4-5 days a week - an hour and a half workout kind of gal. Not so much anymore. I can't honestly say that I don't have the time, because I do. I just spend that extra time lounging in bed, or watching TV or doing housework. I need to re-program, drop everything and just go. I find the more I go, the less stressed I am.

3) The eating. Oh good God the eating, the eating, and the FREAKING eating!!!! I've said this over and over and over again on this blog that the excessive overeating, and the late night snacking, and the sweets, and the cakes, and the eating ice cream when I'm stressed needs to halt.

This brings me to the second thing I'd like to address here. Who is out there? I know I have readers, I don't think it's many, but still I'd like to know that you're there. In addition, I could certainly use your support. I think the main reason I haven't stopped the eating (and thus the weight gain) is because I have nobody to hold me accountable. Notice how I post all gung-ho posts about wanting to lose the weight, but I never post about my progress or lack there of. That's because I'm afraid to face what I already know - I am in control, but I'm out of control. I need something or someone to keep me in line.

So I pledge to commit to my 3 Detoxtober items, and I invite you to create your own Detoxtober list. I also promise to post my progress.

So who is out there? Who is planning to participate in Detoxtober?

Dude Looks Like A Lady

2010-09-29T20:37:00.003-04:00

It's been a rough two weeks.

I want to thank everyone who has called or written or prayed or asked about how my little man is doing.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart - your support has been amazing.

Two weeks ago today I had left Ebenezer at the emergency animal hospital due to his 2nd urinary blockage. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, unblocking kitties is quite the ordeal. It involves anesthesia, insertion of a catheter, and the flushing of his bladder and urinary system. They kept him overnight Wednesday and again on Thursday. I was suppose to pick him up Friday.

Friday morning the veterinary hospital called and told me what I was dreading - Ebenezer would need surgery.

When Ebenezer started having urinary issues last year, I started to do tons of research. I joined online advice and support groups for this condition since it's extremely common in male cats. What I learned in my research - what I hoped we'd never have to resort to - is that some kitties will require surgery in order to prevent further blockages. Surgery that is very delicate. Surgery that is expensive. Surgery that will essentially turn him from a boy kitty.....into a girl kitty.

Oh yeah. Ebenezer got a sex change.

The surgery is called Perineal Urethrostomy and it involves the removal of much of the penis and the narrow portion of the urethra. The surgery leaves a wider opening for the remaining portion under the anus. The surgery does not affect the formation of bladder stones, but it allows for a wider opening for them to pass out of his body - thus eliminating the possibility of him getting blocked.

Uh yeah. This has been my life for the past two weeks.

When the vet called that Friday morning I was overridden with guilt. Should I go ahead with the surgery? Am I making the best decision? How am I going to afford this? What is the best course of action for my little man? Is he suffering? Will he suffer from the surgery?

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

I, of course, went ahead with the surgery. Money was not a factor. I would have maxed out ten credit cards if I had to. I wanted to do what was best for my animal. What was best was going ahead with the surgery.

I flew up to the animal hospital that morning to visit with Ebenezer before he went into surgery. It was hard to leave him. I was afraid complications might occur and I might lose my little dude.

Worry, worry, worry.

I called the hospital around 4 pm that day - Ebenezer was coming out of surgery and everything went fine. Thank. God.

I picked up my little man on Saturday. He is stitched from below his belly all the way up to the bottom of his anus. It was required he wear one of those satellite collars so that he wouldn't lick or pick at the stitches. For the first couple of nights I would wake up every 2 hours to make sure he was indeed passing urine. For four days in a row, I was barely functioning as I was only getting 4 hours sleep per night.

We get the stitches out Saturday.

Hopefully the house will be getting back to normal now that Ebenezer is feeling better. We've had to keep him confined in my office so that the dog doesn't lick Ebenezer's rear end - because dogs are weird like that, and that's the first place Simon aims for when Ebenezer waltzes into the room.

So yeah - probably more information then you ever wanted to know about cats and their urinary issues, and places where dogs put their mouths.

Aren't you glad you stopped by today?

Good Vibes

2010-09-15T20:51:00.003-04:00

My house seems very empty at the moment. TV watching time at the end of the day is usually spent with my two furry kitties sitting with me on the couch.

I only have one furry kitty tonight.

My little babe Ebenezer is spending the next 24-48 hours at the animal hospital. An ultrasound this afternoon showed a considerable amount of debris in his bladder. This debris has blocked his urinary tract resulting in him being unable to urinate.

He is currently sedated and having his bladder and urinary tract flushed.

I am currently a basket case. And my credit card is in flames.

I miss my dude. Big time.

Please send good vibes his way.....

Thank you :)

Love Is....

2010-09-13T15:12:00.009-04:00

....My office floor (thank God it's hard wood) being completely covered in pungent cat urine because Ebenezer is sick again. On the bright side, the floor being covered in cat urine is actually a GOOD thing: a very, very good thing. Urine coming out of his body means his urinary tract IS NOT blocked, which means he isn't running the risk of kidney failure and death. I will take urine soaked floors over kidney failure and death any day.

I was concerned all day for my little guy as he was going in and out of the litter box frequently without producing any urine. I called the vet, and she recommended I give him a dose of his anti-anxiety medication - yes cats have anti-anxiety medication. Apparently anxiety in cats has a direct correlation to urinary tract inflammation thus the anti-anxiety meds.

In case you were wondering.

Love is having a house call vet appointment already set up for tomorrow at 8 am.

Love is being excited to FINALLY be able to collect enough urine from his box for a proper sample to give to the vet tomorrow.

Love is not caring that my office smells like I own 49 cats that urinate everywhere.

Love is laying on the urine soaked floor with Ebenezer so that he feels comforted and not alone.

Love is the fact that I smell like the bottom of a litter pan and I could give two sh*ts - as long as my baby feels better.

I have an insane love for my kitties.

Please keep all crazy cat lady judgments to yourselves. I can't be fabulous ALL the time.

Geesh.

Bridal Wars Part Deux

2010-09-09T23:06:00.001-04:00

I had narrowed my wedding gown favorites down to three fabulous gowns.

"Time for the big mirror," my consultant excitedly exclaimed.

Oooh. The big mirror. Bring it on. I scooped up my skirt and sauntered out of the little dressing room so that I could compare all three of my choices in the large 3-fold mirror that resided in the central location at the bridal salon.

As I turned the corner, I saw her. A shlumpadinka bride in a shlumpadinka dress, with her three shlumpadinka bridesmaids and her shlumpadinka mother. She was standing in the middle of the mirror contemplating the addition of a chocolate brown sash to her dress. For 15-20 minutes hogging the big, fancy, 3-fold mirror. Over a sash.

I could have saved her the time - the sash looked stupid. The sash looked more than stupid - it looked like someone decided to wipe their poop laden bunghole across the waist of her dress. My consultant politely asked if she could scoot over so we could share the mirror - which most absolutely was big enough for all of us to twirl and admire ourselves in. Ms. Brown Poopy Sash looked at me, and my fabulous mother and my fabulous sister and scooted over.

An inch.

It didn't help that her zoo exhibit of a bridal party didn't budge AT ALL so she really didn't have much room to scoot over.

That's when I got really angry and resorted to child like pouting. My consultant could read the dissatisfaction that this frumpalicious bride was causing me, and brought me over to my own smaller mirror over by the register. This didn't help since standing in front of this mirror meant I was also standing in the path to the ladies room.

More pouting.

I couldn't appreciate my choices in this mirror. I kept seeing the reflection of women that were on the way to the bathroom. I kept overhearing the conversation behind me in the big mirror. My vision of having the best day trying on the best dresses and standing in the best mirror was slowly being destroyed.

"Oh my goodness, the brown sash makes the dress. Like Omigod totally get the sash, it's so beauuuuuuuuuuutiful. You look amazing. Oh wowwwwwwww."

And then I overheard this question:

"What color Chucks are you going to wear?"

Oh Helllllllll No.

Not only was Ms. Brown Poopy Sash super ugly, she was sporting an ugly dress, with an ugly sash AND planning on wearing lame sneakers to complete her fugtastic wedding ensemble.

Why did she need the big fabulous mirror to project her nastiness all over the store? Why couldn't she just be ugly in the single mirror that was near the bathroom? Why couldn't she just pack it in, corral her cattle bridal party, and get the F*CK out of the big fabulous girl mirror so that a fabulous girl (meaning me) in a fabulous dress (my dress) could admire herself?

So I crossed my arms, pouted some more, and waited for the wildebeast stampede to move on.

And when it moved on, I was able to stand in front of the big mirror and admire how freaking AMAZING I looked in my dress of choice.

No nasty brown sash of course.

Holla.

Back To Life. Back To Reality.

2010-09-06T20:18:00.006-04:00

I heard this phrase over and over again over the course of the past weekend.

Summer. Is. Over.

Officially over.

Like, OVER, over.

I know, I know - I said in my last post that I was looking forward to fall and winter, which I am, but I am still sad that summer is gone. To be honest, I'm not even sure where the summer went. Looking back, Brian and I didn't go anywhere or really do anything together this summer.

Don't get me wrong, we had plenty to do - weddings, showers, baptisms, wedding planning, house crap, work crap, and on, and on, and on.....what we never really did this summer was to stop and smell the roses and exist in the moment. We unfortunately spent our summer checking off the boxes of our social and errand calendar.

I hate, actually I loathe, living life that way.

So starting tomorrow I'm starting fresh - vowing to savor and breathe in every moment of every day. I'm so bored with rushing through every event in order to get to the next event.

It's going to be a challenge because I usually plow full speed ahead through everything.

Not anymore.

Stop.

Breathe.

Enjoy.

Missing In Action

2010-08-23T09:21:00.003-04:00

Well hello there! I've been terribly neglecting my blog, and I have no real reason why.

It's Monday morning again, and It's August 23rd.

August 23rd.

Ewwww. August 23rd. Summer is almost over. The rain and the cool weather today makes me think of fall.....which is obviously right around the corner.

To be honest, I'm looking forward to fall and winter this year. Mainly because this is the last time I'll be spending these seasons as a single gal. I'm technically not single single but I am unmarried. This will be my last year as unmarried.

Weird.

And speaking of married, most of the big wedding plans are completed. We are meeting with the DJ this week, and then the last big plan we have to make is finding a florist. Everything else is done.

The wedding ball is officially in motion.

Happy Monday!

Controversial

2010-08-12T08:41:00.003-04:00

I struggle with topics to talk about on this blog. Not that I don't have tons to say - it's just that I'm very concerned about offending people. I suppose it's MY blog, and I'm allowed to write what I see fit - but with friends and some family reading - I dread the day when the phone rings and one of them is on the other line stating, "Whoa, you were out of line."

I've had one particular topic floating in my head for months. I've been dying to talk about it, but have been reluctant for fear of the backlash that might come my way. At the same time, I've never been one to NOT speak my mind, and my "big mouth" has gotten me into hot water more times than I can count. I also love to get people talking - and talking in a passionate way. I have the knack of either bringing out good passion or bad passion - either way it's passion just the same and I love to get people going.......

So I'm going to go there. For those of you easily offended, I advise to skip this post. For those of you interested in my slightly controversial post, read on....

Prior to purchasing my home approximately one year ago, I lived (rented) in a very affluent town about 40 minutes north of Boston. I wanted to remain in this town but could not afford to purchase a home. Wait, I take that back. I could afford a home - but one that was small and lacking all the amenities that my current home has. So I ventured about 15 minutes north of said affluent town and that is where I ended up purchasing. The town I currently reside in has a mix of people - predominantly middle class and lower class.

I am fortunate enough to have a grocery store right down the street which makes food shopping extremely easy.

Prepare yourselves....this is where I get slightly nasty.....

I've been shopping at this grocery store for about a year now, and about 6 months ago I noticed that everyone around me was purchasing their groceries with government assistance.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNN.

Now, every time I go to the grocery store I play a little game of "who is buying their groceries with my hard earned money." Yesterday the shopper in front of me, the shopper in back of me, and the shopper in the next lane over all whipped out their little handy dandy Massachusetts government assistance card.

Let the nastiness begin.

I'm getting angrier and angrier each and every time I stand in the check out line. Now, as a disclaimer, I did not come from an affluent home. My mother was a single mother, my father did not pay child support, and we actually qualified for government assistance. My mother was too proud to go on welfare, HOWEVER, I did take advantage of the free breakfast and free lunch programs that were offered at school. So technically, I've sucked at the teat of government assistance.

I feel extremely fortunate to have everything that I have - but I have all I have because I've worked so hard for it. It took me six years to complete my undergraduate degree because I worked for the University full time in order to take advantage of their free tuition for employees program. I received my Masters degree by taking advantage of tuition reimbursement programs from my employer. I've rolled coins, I've clipped coupons, I've shopped sales, I've worn used clothing, I've worked two jobs at any given time so that I can afford the things that I have.

So when I see these women with perfectly manicured nails handing their government assistance card over to the cashier that they retrieved from their Coach purse, I get irate. They notoriously have two carts stuffed FULL of sodas, and cakes, and candies, and CRAP and I'm the one paying for it. I watch them as they pay cash for toys for each one of the 3, 4, 5 children they have tugging along. I've had this conversation with friends that will ask, "don't you feel bad for the children?"

I do feel bad for the children - but I feel bad for them because they're the children of parents that are setting a horrific example for them. They are teaching them to have lots of babies, and to rest assured, the government will take care of them.

To top it off, Brian's sister is a teacher in this town, and has many of these children in her classroom. Most recently one of the students, a 12 year old girl, became pregnant - allegedly by one of her mother's boyfriends. She is keeping the baby and most likely going on government assistance.

Government assistance isn't the answer. Mandatory adoption placement maybe? Sterilization?

If you can't afford your children - it shouldn't be up to me to afford them for you.

Bring on the hate comments.....I can take it.....

Romance?

2010-08-02T08:17:00.004-04:00

Life around our household is business as usual.

Brian and I aren't very romantic. I wouldn't necessarily say that we're not romantic people, we're just not engaging in romantic activity as of late.

A typical Monday for us:

Brian gets up, takes the dog out and heads to work. I get up, take the dog out again, feed the cats, feed the dog, get ready and go to work. Brian gets home from work and takes the dog out. I get home, change and pack up my things for spin. Brian does some housework while I'm gone and feeds the dog. I teach spin. I chat with a few students, and head home. I shower, we make dinner, we eat. I feed the cats. Sometimes I throw in a load of laundry or empty the dish washer.

Each weekday is a variation of this routine. In. Out. Errands. Second job. Take the dog out. Feed the animals. Work.

When the weekend rolls around we usually have some sort of commitment to attend. I go to a bridal shower, Brian mows the lawn, takes the clippings to the dump and watches the dog. He has a golf tournament. I have a bachelorette party. I come home and take care of the dog. If we amazingly have the weekend off he'll fix something that needs fixing around the house, and I scrub. Scrub something. Because something in the house always needs to be scrubbed - the tub, the dog, the floor, the dishes....scrub, scrub, scrub.

Romance - or anything resembling romance - has flown out the window.

We've recently even resorted to eating off of paper plates in order to reduce the amount of dishes (scrubbing) that needs to be done.

Lately, we've even been going to bed at uneven times. I passed out at 9:30 last night. A bridal magazine to my left, a book on my chest, a cat on my head, a hair clip on Brian's side, and the light on.

We're not married yet, we're still relatively young, and we haven't even added kids into the equation. I'm thinking if the romance has vanished this early in the game, then we're really sca-rewd!

So what is the secret? How do you keep the spark alive? Our spark is definitely still here and we - ahem - do still embrace the spark (if you know what I mean) on a frequent basis. It just seems that the spark embracing has become another task that needs to be penciled into our schedule instead of it being a spontaneous act of, well, romance.

I'm assuming that this is a normal part of life that every couple encounters. Are we happy? Absolutely - We're just exhausted. We need to somehow create a better of balance of work and play. We have the work part down - we just need to work on the play.

Suggestions?

Happy Monday.

I Win

2010-07-30T09:47:00.002-04:00

If you recall, I have been having some issues with the other bride that is having her wedding the same day as mine. Her reception is at the other end of the hotel, but she booked the (MY) garden that is outside of my room - for her ceremony.

I got a call yesterday from the wedding coordinator.

Are you ready for this one????

The other bride....BACKED OUT!!

This means I get the garden for MY ceremony.

Picture me wringing my hands together doing my best Gargamel face....

I mean, of course I feel bad that the other bride has unforeseen circumstances that have forced her to back out of her wedding.....but YAHOOOOOOOO I'm so excited for me!!

Happy Friday!

All Things Zombie

2010-07-23T09:23:00.007-04:00

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine a post like this one.

Megan over at Best Of Fates pointed out that I did not include tips on how to survive a zombie invasion.

Duh - how selfish of me - because technically a deadly virus that escapes government control and reeks havoc on the human population by turning everyone into flesh eating zombies COULD really happen.

No, really. It could.

I found this eHow article on how to survive a zombie invasion. I also found the following video that outlines how to prevent being a victim in a zombie invasion.

And finally - based on all of the zombie movies I've watched with one eye open and hiding under the covers, I have my own recommendations:

1) I highly recommend the movie Zombieland. Brian, who is NOT a zombie movie fan(or a scary movie fan either) found this movie hysterical. Woody Harrelson is a riot, and the movie is PACKED with fantastic tips on how to survive a zombie invasion.

2) Always aim for the head. Each zombie genre varies, but the most consistent method of actually killing the undead, and stopping it in its tracks is by immobilizing the nervous system by either shooting/stabbing/hitting in the head, or snapping the neck. I don't know about you, but I certainly don't plan on getting close enough to a zombie to snap it's neck - so I highly recommend shooting in the head, or a blunt force trauma.

3) Seek shelter, but do not "hide" in the basement. Trapping yourself with only one way out - which most definitely will be barricaded by hungry zombies - is not the best course of action. Instead think high - like camping out on a rooftop. I've yet to see zombies climb. I've also never seen them swim making a floating houseboat a very good shelter during a zombie invasion.

4) Chances are your family and friends are already dead and transformed into zombies. That's because they think you're crazy for watching these asinine (my mother loves the word asinine) movies, and are completely uneducated and ignorant to survival tactics during a zombie invasion. Don't go looking to save them, they are already dead.

I hope you all find this zombie post helpful. I hope we never have to utilize these survival tactics.

But now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Happy Friday.

Zombies? Really?

2010-07-19T08:17:00.002-04:00

Good Morning Lovelies! I'm always bummed at how Monday morning always seems to roll around despite a wonderful relaxing weekend - how does that saying go? The only sure thing in life is death, taxes and Monday mornings.....

Over at Life Of A Doctor's Wife I discovered that someone other than myself has completely insane, er, I mean, irrational fears.

1) Zombies. Two types to be exact - 1) The Resident Evil and 28 Days Later types of zombies. Basically, a secret government virus "escapes" top secret laboratories to infect the general public, causing you to turn into this flesh eating, crazed, snarling maniac. And 2)Night of the Living Dead type of zombies. These zombies were actually dead people that somehow came back to life, and are in search of human brains to consume. It's not that I am afraid of becoming one of these zombies - I'm afraid that someday I'll wake up and my house will be surrounded by zombies and I will somehow have to figure out how to stay alive and not become one of them while protecting my family as well because if you're bitten you turn, and you want to kill the person before they turn so that they don't end up biting you and how IMPOSSIBLE will it be to kill a loved one as to prevent them from biting you and turning you into a zombie. Get all that? My sister and I actually have conversations that start off with, "What would be your survival strategy if the world was overrun with zombies?

2) Bridges. I HATE driving over bridges. I'm not afraid of the bridge collapsing and I'm not afraid of getting stuck on the bridge. What I am afraid of is driving off the bridge. For some strange reason, I get this insatiable urge to steer my car OFF the side and free fall into the water. I'm also afraid I'll get sideswiped by a big truck and end up pushed off the bridge. Hate big bridges. HATE THEM!

3) Before I leave the house I check the stove and every outlet, over and over and over again because I'm afraid that a) the stove was left on even if I didn't use it, and b) I left a curling/straightening iron plugged in. I'm not necessarily concerned the house is going to burn down, I'm more concerned about my animals suffering in the flames. It's all about the animals people.

4) Girly parts shriveling. Yup that's right people - did you know this happens? A friend of mine was selling vaginal cream for post-menopausal women. During his first training session he called me and asked, "Do you know what happens to your vagina when you go through menopause?"

I thought about it for a moment, and realized that I didn't know what was going to happen to my girly parts once menopause set in.

"It shrivels. Like a raisin. A RAISIN!" Apparently the change in hormones causes it to shrivel. The cream contains hormones which cause everything to open back up.

I was horrified.

At my next yearly exam with my OB/GYN I asked her about it. She confirmed that it was indeed true.

"How have you NOT warned me about this?"

"You're 28," she replied, "it's really not an issue yet." I still wish she would have warned me.

5) I think my biggest irrational fear is turning into a full time Shlumpadinka. What if someday, years from now, I look in the mirror and GASP - I've somehow morphed into a full time Shlumpadinka? Kids, a home, some pets, work, a husband - what if I end up in t-shirts, sweats, no makeup and GOD FORBID crocs as a full time wardrobe.

** SHUDDER**

The very thought makes me cringe.

To combat this fear, I plan on wearing a pair of fabulous, unpractical heels to work today. Just because I can.

What are your irrational fears?

"Shoes? What Shoes?"

2010-07-16T09:12:00.003-04:00

I unfortunately no longer own this particular pair of heels.

Happy Friday!

Summertime....

2010-07-09T08:29:00.001-04:00

.....And the livin' is easy.

Bride Wars

2010-07-08T08:16:00.002-04:00

My wedding planning has officially begun, and I'm already experiencing some snags.

One huge one in particular - Another bride is getting married at the hotel the same day I am. I don't know who she is, or what she looks like, but I know that I already hate her.

The hotel houses two function rooms. I am having my reception in the Crystal Ballroom which is larger and more elegant. The other ballroom is the Presidential - very pretty, but more suited for a smaller wedding. The Crystal Ballroom is round with the dance floor situated in the middle and tables set up around it. The room is comprised of windows that overlook a beautiful garden. Unfortunately, the other bride (I hate her) is having her ceremony in the garden from 4:30-5:00. When touring, the wedding coordinator informed me that she will be OUT of the garden in time for me to have my cocktail hour out there. The hotel has recently instituted a policy that the garden accompanies receptions in the Crystal Ballroom ONLY due to issues such as this one. Unfortunately this bride is grandfathered in, and gets to have her ceremony in the garden, even though I am having my reception in the Crystal Ballroom.

I would have preferred to have my ceremony in the garden, but I'm ok with not having it at a different location called the Overlook Lawn. This is a section out in front of the hotel that overlooks the mountains. I will have my ceremony there from 5-5:30. HOWEVER, I want the other bride, her wedding party, her guests, and her ceremony chairs out of the garden by 5:30 so that I can take my pictures and for my guests to have cocktail hour.

The wedding coordinator contacted me yesterday and informed me that she wasn't sure that my cocktail hour would be set up in time at 5:30 due to the other bride having her ceremony in MY GARDEN.

Ugh. I hate her.

Please don't bother with the "it's her day too, and she deserves a beautiful day as well, blah, blah, blippity, blah." I want what I want and that is that. And yes, I know I'm being petty.

She will be out of there if I have to hoist her out myself.

Booked

2010-06-28T06:58:00.003-04:00

September 24, 2011. Mountain Grand View - Whitefield, New Hampshire.

I'm going to be a Mrs.

Let the planning begin!

Happy Monday!

Under Where?

2010-06-24T07:27:00.003-04:00

Being that Simon is my very first dog - I'm learning that just like my cats, Simon has his own little weirdo quirks.

For example - my laundry room is directly off of my kitchen. I leave the door open because the laundry room houses Ebenezer's favorite window. It's the window that overlooks our bird feeder, so this is where he chooses to spend a good chunk of his time. It also has a tile floor that stays cool year round. Newfoundlands don't do so great with the heat, so Simon likes to lay on cold surfaces. Since my two boys like to hang out in there, I always leave the door open.

The laundry room also houses my laundry basket that houses our dirty clothes. Including.....underpants.

Simon has a strange fascination with my underpants. He will nose through the laundry basket pull out a pair and drag them into the kitchen. He will then go back to the hamper, and get another pair, and put them in a different spot in the kitchen. Essentially he ends up surrounded by my underwear as he usually arranges them in a big circle around him and hangs out in the middle. He doesn't chew on them or eat them. He just kind of hangs out with them. It's a very strange site to come home and find my nickers strewn all over the kitchen -as if an underwear bandit tornadoe-d through without taking the underwear with him.

I'm sure his obsession with my delicates has something to do with my scent being strongest on that particular article of clothing and that's why he chooses them over say a pair of jeans or a t-shirt. I try to look past the gross factor of him putting my dirty underwear in his mouth and dragging them all over my kitchen floor. I try to convince myself that he loves me so much, he yearns to surround himself with my scent when I'm not around.

I'm working on the convincing.....as I'm still leaning towards the gross factor.

Jumping In

2010-06-21T07:16:00.001-04:00

Last week while perusing through the June 2010 issue of Redbook I found an excerpt from a book called "My Fair Lazy," by Jen Lancaster.

It read as follows:

"If we can't...stop the aging process, then we're obligated to make the most of what we have, and the best way to do that is to expand the depth of our experiences. Do we want to spend the next 30 years waiting to see who wins America's Next Top Model Cycle 45, or do we want to fill our lives with a million new experiences, even if sometimes they're unpredictable or scary or take effort?"

I admit to being an offender - As of late, I only do or try things that exist inside my comfort zone.

Over the weekend, Brian and I made a trip to his parent's pool. As a kid, if I had the opportunity to swim in a pool, I was swimming and jumping off the diving board. I would create a unique move each time I jumped in. Cannonball. Cannonball with a twist. Backwards Jump. Upside down jump. No two jumps were the same. I would do this over and over and over again. For hours. Even if it was raining. Even if it was freezing. I would swim until my mom would drag me from the pool shivering and with purple lips. Usually I was dragged out kicking and screaming, not caring that a thunderstorm was overhead. I would want to swim through it.

Now, as an adult, I'm lucky if I dunk a toe in the water. I am guilty of the old lady pat down - a little cold water on the chest, pat pat on the tummy and a wipe down of the arms, and I'm back on the chair.

This weekend was different. The weather was hot, but the water was cold. I walked over to the diving board.

Brian asked, "where are you going?"

"To the diving board," I replied.

"You are?"

I then told him about the excerpt I read and how instead of being such a 'fraidy cat baby, I should jump in and enjoy the water because life is short and what is better than jumping into a sparkling pool of cold water on a hot summer day?

He rolled his eyes and shook his head as if to say, "another one of your cockamamie ideas."

I stood at the edge of the diving board with my toes hanging from the edge. I looked down and tried to think of the last time I actually jumped into a pool instead of floating in from the stairs. I couldn't remember when that was. I bent my knees, and jack knifed into the cold water.

Other than the bikini bottom water wedgie, and letting go of my fear of the freezing cold water - it was pretty darn awesome.

When was the last time you jumped in?

Taking a Break

2010-06-14T08:02:00.000-04:00

No blogging this week.

Got a lot going on.

Not to mention I'm just not in the mood.

Be back next week.

Peace out.